The man has little money. "Why a man who does not earn money for her and does not solve her problems?"

Do you remember what Gosha (aka Georgy Ivanovich) did in the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”, when he found out that his beloved woman is high and earns several times more than he? He slammed the door and went into a deep binge, as he received a deep psychological trauma. So, on the agenda is the question: what to do, if the husband earns less than his wife?

Let's make a reservation right away: there are not so many classic lazy people who, lying on the couch, do not worry at all about what to support their families with - only 9%. And now we do not take them into account.

In general, according to polls of sociologists, 68% of men who find themselves in a similar situation say that they see nothing wrong with the fact that their wife earns more. Say, the one who does it better and who is more fortunate brings money to the family. In fact, this is only a semblance of calm. And in families where the breadwinners are women, all sorts of problems often arise.

One of the main causes of conflicts is age-old traditions, according to which a man is obliged to be the head of the family and support the household. It is sometimes very difficult for women to forgive their companions for their failure. So they begin to make claims: “You are not a man if you live at the expense of your wife!”. Hence the constant scandals.

In turn, a man who does not earn enough money, if he does not show the appearance that he is embarrassed by his failures, internally experiences constant anxiety. According to statistics, 78% of unemployed or low-earning men suffer from depression. Self-doubt can unsettle anyone. And often, on a subconscious level, any will to win and desire to change anything is paralyzed. And again, scandals will begin in the family.

So that the situation in the family does not escalate, you need to develop the right tactics of behavior.

Do not give your husband money from your own wallet for expenses. Let the funds be stored in a public place. And do not demand a full account of where he spent it (we do not mean "drunk" and gamblers: money should be kept as far away from such types as possible).
Do not talk all day about finances, even if these conversations are quite friendly.
Do not cut your husband and do not cite as an example some mutual friend who has made an excellent career and receives solid money.
At home, take a break from your independence, let a loved one take care of you.
Let the husband help with the housework, but do not take it as his direct duty. Be sure to praise, thank you. But you shouldn’t make a housewife out of men either, otherwise over time you will feel that you are becoming that same stone wall for your spouse.
Consult with your husband on work matters, often talk about how important his support is to you.
If your husband is striving to become a wealthier person, help him with this. First of all, a sincere belief in his success. Sometimes such a smallness is quite enough for the career take-off of the chosen one.

Should a man earn money?

I don't like the word should. I will say this when a man earns money himself and feeds not only himself on them:
? He feels stronger and more courageous. The man is the one who brought the mammoth home. Roughly speaking, whoever brought it is the man.
? This enhances his masculine qualities - with every ruble brought home.
? He feels his importance and need (one of the male needs).? He feels like the head of the family, and he does not need to prove this to anyone with strange methods.
? Money for a man is a measure of his self-esteem, wealth, fulfillment. One of, but very important. Therefore, when he is a breadwinner, he feels confident.
? A woman next to him feels safe (one of her needs).

It is easier for a woman to take care of the house, children and her hobbies, because the need to feed herself and children does not hang over her.

All this happens automatically if the man is the main breadwinner.

What happens when the main breadwinner is a woman?

The man is weakening. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

The man feels unfulfilled. And it gnaws at him from the inside. This cannot but affect relationships.

He does not feel his need - here you can go into depression, games, alcohol and women.

He has a need to prove who is the boss in the house. There is no benevolent way to realize it, tyranny, despotism, violence and an attempt to suppress a woman by force remain. Physically.

Often, subconsciously, he hates his wife for her success, for the fact that she is stronger and has achieved more. Even if you don't say it out loud.

The woman grows armor and iron "bells". From which it is then so difficult to get rid of!

The woman is exhausted. Not strong enough for anything else. The longer she is at the cutting edge of the attack, the more difficult it is for her to keep an open heart.

The husband is annoying, harder to respect, and the relationship becomes very fragile.

A woman is always in a fighting stance, she cannot relax even for a minute. She's not safe, which means she's stressed.

As a rule, and at least, we observe such consequences. And all this has the ability to accumulate. That is, the husband sat on his neck for five years, everything suited him - and then bang! And that's it, I can't stand it anymore, I can't, I have no strength. Although everything was fine yesterday.

The man does not earn money. Yes, there are options when it doesn't work otherwise. If this situation is temporary - for example, the husband was injured and is recovering, or he is improving his qualifications and is temporarily unable to work - the spouses can agree on this, and everything will be fine. For a while, a woman will help, pick up, insure, but nothing more.

Making money is the basic function of a man in our world. But there are different temporary circumstances when it is difficult or impossible for him to do this. This is fine. If it doesn't drag on forever.

Look, cooking is the basic function of a woman, right? But sometimes there are different kinds of circumstances. For example, in the Vedic culture, women were not allowed to cook on women's days (other women living nearby could do this). There are also periods of illness, fatigue and other things. Is it normal? Yes. Is it necessary to demand borscht from a woman at this moment? No. Same with men.

It happens - difficult periods, accumulated karma, circumstances. The key word is temporary.

Should you marry someone like that?

The man is young and marries without knowing how to earn money. Is it normal? Nowadays, yes. Is it good? Not really. Is it a disaster? No. Because he can learn it. Just like a woman today often marries without knowing how to cook. And he learns this already within the family. So is a man - a need arises, those who depend on him appear, and he unfolds.

Sometimes people meet in a period of life when a man is in a difficult situation, invests in his business and does not yet see a return. Or is in crisis and looking for himself. Or just not used to working and earning - now there are many of them. We only see that he does not earn or earns little, but inside the situation is completely different.

Is it necessary to marry a man who has nothing? Yes:

If you see its prospects and believe in it

If you are ready to immediately resign as a miner and wait for some time until it accelerates. Sometimes this will require you to tighten your belt for a while, without ceasing to dream (that's where the art is!)

If you can inspire him to earn money and support him, and don’t cut, don’t demand

If he not only speaks, but also does.

Then the saying works that you can become the wife of a general only by marrying a lieutenant. And it is true. There are, of course, options when a man comes across ready-made, equipped and all that. But you must have enough piety to meet such a person so that he becomes interested in you. This is not given to everyone.

But in this case, you should be careful and evaluate a man by his actions, not words. If there is only talk about business and no real steps during the year, for example, it is worth considering. If you see that he is not lazy and empty-handed, works, works, grows, changes - this is another matter.

Don't Get Married:

If you have rose-colored glasses on and you are ready to do everything for him

If while he is looking for himself, you will feed everyone

If you don't love yourself, but love working on your back

If he talks a lot and does little.

Because there is a rather big chance that you will put this man on a humpback and drag him. Do you need it? Will you take it far? And he sits and sits.

What if it's already out?

Remember. A man never fixes what already works. If there is something to eat at home, there is a place to live, there is something to buy beer in the evening, he can “look for himself” endlessly. Endlessly delving into vacancies is not really my thing, they don’t understand me here. Endlessly inventing an ideal business that will definitely work someday. Endlessly powder your brains that this is about to change. The longer you are in this situation, the longer it takes to get out of it. And it’s bad for both of you in this situation, even if it seems to you that you are the only victim.

A man will begin to change only when there is a real need for this, an obvious one. When otherwise.

Remember Ilya Muromets, who lay on the stove for 33 years, and then went to perform feats. Remember the firefighters - they sleep until they hear the siren. This is masculine nature. Wait for a signal for help and rush into battle. No signal, no fight.

When our first son was born, my husband was out of work. Business did not go, there were huge debts, on this subject he went into depression. I tried to look for a job for him myself, he even sluggishly went to interviews, but nothing. It didn't work. And we lived on child allowance - one and a half thousand rubles, my mother sometimes helped. The turning point happened when I left home with the child. Because she couldn't take it anymore. We fought, I started to get sick, my son was sick with me. There was no light ahead. I didn't know how to inspire.

When he came to see us a couple of days later, I told him that I would return if he found a job and nothing else. The husband no longer remembers this, the subconscious mind has firmly hidden everything. And he got the first job offered to him. After several years of leadership positions, he became a simple window assembler. Can you imagine what a test for the male ego? You have a resume that won't hire you because you're "too good for us." And here you go to collect windows with men without education and resumes.

He worked from 7 to 21, seven days a week. Every day he left while we were sleeping, came when we were already asleep. I was alone with the baby, and at first it was hard for me. But.

He got out of depression, brought in a good salary, and his shoulders straightened. And faith in myself appeared.

Three months of such work, where there is nothing to talk about, no one to talk to. Hard work, calluses on the hands, soft-boiled ring, but the finger saved. When he read books during breaks, and the rest drank and joked about him. Work only for money. Three months without the opportunity to play with my son. They have changed a lot.

Then I firmly learned one thing. If I just want to solve a problem, then I can of course solve it myself. It's faster, easier, I know how. But. There is a great chance that I will decide it later. I will always solve such problems. And only me. If I give the problem to my husband, he will solve it without me. Let him decide not the way I would like, let him decide for a long time, with errors, not immediately. If you don’t stand over your ear and don’t buzz, he will decide. Necessarily. And so in the end it's better for everyone. I save strength, he becomes stronger. Let him make mistakes, let him go where he wants to go. And accept with gratitude the fruits.

A woman heals her depressions with talk, a man with actions. Sometimes hard work. Hands. You just need to let him act, give him freedom - and remove the main obstacle in the way, that is, himself.

Therefore, if your husband is not working, your task is to create a need for him to get out of the triangle of kitchen-sofa-tanks and work hard. Lie down on the sofa, relax and come what may. Scary? Yeaaaaaaaaa! But there is a chance to change everything. So scared that you can't relax and still run and solve problems? Get ready to carry everything on yourself and not complain. Ready?

It will not be easy, I warn you right away! Difficult at first, then good. And most importantly, for the benefit of both of you.

Olga Valyaeva

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 6 minutes

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The husband receives little and does not strive to change anything in this, while the wife counts every coin, saving even on the most necessary things. In this case, the situation of the family is critical. This state of affairs does not suit a woman, and her husband is pleased with everything.

Why did this happen, and has it always been like this? Why does the husband earn little, and how to make him earn more? Here's what to think about in this situation.

The reasons that the husband does not receive a lot of money - why does the husband earn little?

Laziness is not a reason, because a person is inherently lazy, this is an ordinary feeling of conserving energy. Everyone tries to do less than they can.

He has such a character. The husband does not need anything, he is ready to sit at the TV forever, he is not afraid of the mess in the house, he is not embarrassed by dirty socks in the corners. Yes, and he himself is not pretentious about things. A new phone is not needed, clothes - and the old one is not bad yet, repairs - why, when the wallpaper has not yet fallen. An infantile person, it would seem, is not interested in anything. But there must be something that draws him in. This needs to be grasped.
Not ready for a leadership role. In the parental family, he was always a small child, who was provided by his mother. And the wife, by the way, got strong and powerful. That's why he does everything to the fullest.
Features of work. Perhaps such an activity requires a long start, but then this delay will pay off with interest and give out the desired large salary. For example, in order to achieve a promotion, you need to have experience of 3-5 years. Or you need to achieve some specific merits, develop a dozen projects.
Or maybe the husband earns normally. It's just the wife spending a lot. It is worthwhile to soberly assess your costs. Perhaps too much money is spent on cosmetics and clothes. Or maybe for food. Is the family accustomed to eating delicious food, going to restaurants? Then the reason is clear.

The key to this issue is roles of women and men in the family . Since ancient times, the wife is the keeper of the hearth, mother, tenderness and love. The husband is strength, power, prosperity, protection, support and a stone wall.

The business of a woman is to establish a life, the business of a man is to raise funds for living. As soon as money appears in the house, the wife instinctively begins to build a nest, as soon as a woman ceases to maintain comfort in the house, a man ceases to provide this house . Vicious circle.

Conceived in women in such situations, the idea appears that without a husband it would be easier to live economically. It costs more than income. Somewhere you will have to deny yourself cosmetics, a new thing ... But you should not do this. It - the path that will lead to a deep hole, from which it will no longer be possible to get out. The faithful will cease to see a woman in his wife, will cease to respect her. He will sit on his neck, hang his legs, and will not take into account her needs.

What should be done so that the husband earns well, how to make the husband earn money?

Don't get divorced. In order for a husband to earn good money, you need to motivate him enough for this.
Stop pushing yourself. Let them have to live from hand to mouth, but this is the most effective way to reach out to him, to explain that he is the breadwinner. In addition, if a woman acts as a breadwinner, then she will not be able to devote much time to children, which she will later regret bitterly.
Dream, make plans for the future together. Know what it takes to work harder. If it doesn’t work out, then you can create wish lists and write whatever you want there without filtering anything out. Draw a wish card. Glue clippings from magazines, newspapers on a sheet of paper. Like a new TV, a sandy beach with palm trees, a new car.
Save right. As mentioned earlier, you should not limit yourself and loved ones in everything. Strict economy will not lead to good. You just need to eliminate impulsive purchases, plan expenses and keep them under control.
Let the husband feel the lack of funds on himself. Looks like old clothes, will not see sausages in the refrigerator. This will work better than the hundredth reminder to buy a child running shoes. And let him go to the parent meeting himself, they also demand money there.
Give the reins of financial management to your husband. Let him plan expenses, know what and how much the family needs per month, what prices are in stores. And what can the family really afford for his salary.
Appreciate your husband, recognize his authority. Leadership is in the blood of men. If you let go of control over the affairs of the family, then after a while the responsibility will be taken by the husband. The main thing is to wait. Any man seeks admiration for himself, wants to know that he is the best. Read also:
And, of course, praise. For starters, let it be a simple gratitude for delicious tea. Do not compare or nag your husband - this undermines his authority.
Talk. If the relationship with her husband is trusting, then a simple conversation with a plan for the future is enough. For example, if a family wants to relax in an exotic country in the summer, then a certain amount of money is needed for this. It can be accumulated if you put aside several thousand every month. And what needs to be done to get them out of the family budget: start saving or find a side job.
Give birth to children. This is one of the strongest incentives for a husband to start bringing money into the house. And the more the better. The primitive instinct of the getter and the hunter also works in modern civilized men.

Taking on the role of a breadwinner is the wrong way out of the situation. You need to make a successful, self-sufficient person out of your man , leader and, of course, the head of the family.

If you liked our article and have any thoughts about it, please share with us. It is very important for us to know your opinion!

What a man can achieve in life largely depends on the woman, says the author of the trainings Larisa Renard. Now, in addition to classes in her psychological center, there is a book, using which you can independently direct your female energy in the right direction.

He proposed to me! Lenka looked around at us. We were shocked into silence.

Once a month we got together for "girls' get-togethers" and discussed everything and nothing. In the fifteen years of our friendship, a lot has happened that required immediate discussion. Any woman by the age of 35 accumulates a lot of exciting events. In our five, it seemed, all the options for women's destinies were combined.

I got married at 23 and stayed there for 12 years, during which time I moved from a room in a communal apartment to a luxurious country mansion. I enjoyed the status of a millionaire's wife, did my favorite psychology, conducted trainings and various classes, and at the same time tried to be a good mother for my two sons.

Male energy levels

“Men have seven levels of energy that correspond to their financial condition,” I began to explain, drawing a picture.

On the first level a man earns only for food, that is, no more than 100 euros per month. This is the level of survival and poverty. There are homeless people and poor students on it. This level corresponds to the number 3.

On the second level a man has enough for a house and a family, but he is, as a rule, a hired worker. His income does not exceed a thousand euros per month. This is the comfort level. It corresponds to the number 7.

On the third level a man has the energy to control other people. He can work in a managerial position or create his own business, albeit small, but bringing a stable income. As a rule, at this level, earnings can be up to 10,000 euros per month. The fame of this man usually does not go beyond the boundaries of the city. This level corresponds to the number 17.

On the fourth level a man can control large financial flows and manage large teams. His personal income reaches 100,000 euros per month. This is the level of publicity and fame when money flows like water. Such a man can be a top manager, the owner of his company, or just a famous person - an actor, singer, designer, stylist. At this level, he is already known throughout the country. This level corresponds to the number 34.

On the fifth level a man has enough energy and strength for politics. Having reached it, he can become a governor, a minister or an oligarch. This is the level of international companies with thousands of employees. It corresponds to the number 72.

Sixth level- the mental power of a man. This is the level of kings, emperors, presidents or those whose names are remembered for centuries - philosophers, writers, artists. A man who has reached the sixth level of strength is one whose thoughts and ideas influence humanity for a long time, who left a noticeable mark on history. This level corresponds to the number 108.

The person who has reached seventh level- this is the one for whom the spirit has become more important than worldly problems. This is the level of the spiritual teachers of mankind, and the number 118 corresponds to it.

- On average, it takes a man about three years to move from one level to another. Someone can make a breakthrough in a year, someone in seven years, and someone remains at the same level, ”I finished.

“My husband is still in second,” Zhenya concluded.

“And mine,” Nastya sighed. - What determines the level of a man and what are these strange numbers? she asked.

The main thing is love, the rest can be learned

- The numbers correspond to a certain level of a man's energy, to what flows of money and power he is able to hold. The more energy a person has, the greater his level of influence, the more money he has and the higher his level of power.

Money is a directed, structured sexual and vital energy. But female energy exists in its purest form. There is a lot of it, but it is chaotic. A woman is a source of energy that raises a man to reveal his potential.

A woman gives her energy to a man, and he turns it into money, giving it structure through his center of will. The more energy a woman has, the more opportunities she can give a man. Sometimes a woman has a huge resource of energy given to her by nature or acquired, but if a man has a weak center of will, he will not be able to turn this energy into money. And vice versa - a man can have a very strong volitional center, but if a woman has wasted her energy or gone into a man's, then the man has nothing to transform into a cash flow.

“So,” Lenka shook her head, listening to my explanations, “should I get married or not?”

“Choose love, everything else can be created,” I replied.

You won't be fed up with promises! I need a detailed action plan. I finally found the man of my dreams, and he's as poor as a paper rat.

“Well, not so poor after all,” Zhenya was indignant. “By the way, the five of us live on sixty thousand.

- We are a hundred - the three of us, - Nastya sighed, - but the trouble is that I earn them, and I'm insanely tired of it.

“So you think,” Lenka summed up my theoretical calculations, “that with the right woman, any man can become successful and rich.”

- Yes, if there is love, passion, faith in a man, support, inspiration, etc. Then money is a matter of time, desire, knowledge and practice.

“Are you saying that you know how to make your husband a millionaire and can teach us how to do it?” Zhenya looked at me questioningly. - After all, you already did yours!

“Yes,” I nodded. - Although I just helped him become what he wanted and was able to become! A woman helps a man to reveal his potential, strengthens and fills him. A Forbes study was recently published,” I continued. “They interviewed ten billionaires and dozens more multimillionaires to find out what they have in common. It turned out that these were only three points.

First. They are not afraid of defeat, drawing valuable lessons from them. One of the billionaires made a billion during the IT boom. When his project collapsed, he lost everything, but did not lose heart. Now he has half a billion again. This is to the question of masculine qualities and a strong volitional center, I added.

- Second. They are constantly looking for new, non-standard sources of income, using their talents and strengths. The owner of the gas station network, who thought of selling snacks at them, was considered an eccentric. Now he is a multi-billionaire. This speaks of his sexual and creative potential, - I voiced my vision.

“And most importantly,” I paused, looking around at my girlfriends, “a successful marriage!” A wife should support her husband and believe in him. This is the main thing, say all the richest people in the world! - I finished pathetically and continued without pathos: - Which is quite understandable.

- Well, I'm ready to try to put my energy into Ruslan, - suggested Lenka. - Where do we get it from?

Comment on the article "How to make a man earn more, or why do you need a wife"

notable Brad: "how to make a man earn more." Answer: "Earn yourself!"

As it is heated, I have not read it, but I condemn it. Because to make the husband earn more is one challenge. And how to make the husband share this money with his wife is another task that is not always feasible.

Total 15 messages .

What if a man earns less?

When people are blinded by love, when passion boils in their veins, in fact, who earns more seems to them petty and completely unimportant. The main thing is that they are together, that they love each other! But over time, when all the ardor subsides, it will play a huge role. First of all, for a man, and then for a woman.

A man realizes his "I" by performing men's duties. To protect, to provide everything necessary for his family, to solve all problems, taking responsibility for himself - this is his task. And if a man earns less than his woman, whom he is called upon by fate to protect and provide, he begins to feel his uselessness and inferiority. On an energy level, a woman who earns more than her man seems to say to him: "I can manage without you, I will overcome all life's difficulties." In addition, she also fulfills her, women's duties, which no one has canceled. And it turns out that the man feels completely meaningless in her life. Useless.

To say that now is a different time, that no matter who gets how much, you can do a lot. But the problem will still remain and will slowly destroy their family.

What can happen if a man starts earning significantly less?

A man will doubt his masculine strength, the ability to support a family;
A man who does not respect himself cannot respect the woman he is with;
A man cannot love a woman he does not respect;
And then quarrels, disagreements, scandals begin in the family;
The man starts drinking;
Or find a lover. Betrayals begin;
Otherwise, a divorce follows.

Here is a standard scheme that happens in those families that do not consider it important who earns how much.

You can ask me a question: “What if a man earns less?”. The answer is obvious: "Start earning less." If it means changing jobs, change. If you moderate your ardor, moderate. In any case, if you want to be happy in family life. For a man, the most important thing is to be loved, to feel cared for and to know that without him a woman simply cannot. Then he feels like a hero, and loves his wife and is ready to carry her in his arms. Because by giving these sensations, she awakens in him confidence in his courage, masculine strength, will. And without this feeling, men do not know how to love. Alas.