You need to run away from a miserable man - a psychologist. Signs of a weak man Love and cowardice

Man and cowardice - at first glance, two contradictory concepts. However, the fact that a man is not afraid of mice and cockroaches, bloody scenes in films and even skydiving does not make him a daredevil. There are more than enough cowards, although their fears are more of a social nature.

cowardly lover

Lisa knows perfectly well what the expression "knock the ground out from under her feet" means. Two months of a cloudless romantic relationship with her beloved ended on the same day when her friend simply stopped picking up the phone. Attempts to find out anything yielded nothing. For several days of silence, Lisa almost went crazy, and then in Odnoklassniki she received a letter from him: “You are very good, but I have a lot of work now, and I can’t afford to treat you lightly. Let's be friends." It was only the understanding that, fortunately, she did not have to link her fate with such a coward, helped to survive the painful blow.

With the advent of SMS, the Internet and social networks for cowards, a real expanse has come! I wanted to break up with a girl - no problem: a short message - and you are free, you can go drink beer with friends. No need to look into the eyes of an abandoned beloved, no need to answer questions. Paradise! And what is happening to her is purely her personal grief.

The lowest cowardice is the inability to take responsibility for one's actions. Feel free to cross this one off the list of real men.

cowardly boss

Marina has been working as a Deputy General Director in a large company for many years. There are many employees, and staff turnover is a constant phenomenon. I am satisfied with my work, but there is one “but”. “I already have a guilt complex! she laments. - Every time the boss decides to fire someone, he entrusts this “honorable mission” to me, referring to the fact that he has enough of his own affairs. You have no idea how hard it is to tell an employee that he is fired. Someone has a family, someone has a mother, someone is crying, someone is angry, but I have to listen to everything! Let him bear it all!”

Yes, the boss is an important, serious and always busy person. But this is not a reason to entrust your work to deputies, secretaries or other representatives. After all, the decision to dismiss an employee is made by the boss, which means that he should be able to say it. The only pity is that there are few daredevils who are able to say this to his face.

cowardly friend

“I hate these male “fraternizations”! Anya complains. - After a couple of glasses, the husband starts acting like an idiot! For his friends, he is ready to take off his last shirt, at the first call he runs to them! Once, in the middle of the night, one called, asked to be met from the airport. My husband, of course, went. I was proud that this is a male friendship, I don’t understand. And then, when he got married, this “friend” didn’t even invite him to the wedding!”

Poems and songs have been written about male friendship, films have been made. Men look down on the so-called female friendship and condescendingly slap their girlfriend on the shoulder: they say, well, be friends, be friends ... until the first purchase of identical dresses. Only now, some do not even suspect that their relationship with friends has nothing to do with real male friendship. A coward man needs a company for self-affirmation, and he will create it with all his might and try not to leave the pride. Friends call to the bar, and he has already promised his girlfriend a home evening? Nothing, a friend will survive, because a cowardly man is very scared that he may not be called a second time. In general, it is difficult for him to say “no” in principle. It's hard and scary.

And there is also the other side of the coin: “we are with you”, “we are for you”, and when the time comes - “I understand you, but my hut is on the edge”. As Leo Tolstoy said, a cowardly friend is more terrible than an enemy, because you fear the enemy, but you hope for a friend.

Where do cowardly men come from?

The so-called social coward is a cowardly person with weak willpower and weak self-confidence. Unlike depression, cowardice is a character trait, and not a temporary state of the human psyche. Therefore, you should not hope too much that the coward will change. It is only in fairy tales that the Cowardly Lion is willing to do anything to gain courage. Real "cowardly lions" are fine and so.

Where does cowardice come from? Like many of our problems and complexes - from childhood. During puberty, especially among male adolescents, the struggle for dominance in the group and the assertion of one's "ego" begins to be clearly aggressive in nature (hello to school fights "class to class"). Against the background of this struggle, a number of adolescents develop a defensive reaction, expressed in submission with traces of hidden aggression. This defense subsequently leads to the development of cowardice - fear of open conflict and actions on the sly. When the boy grows up, cowardice can transform into cunning, but cunning is not good, having nothing to do with ingenuity.

Is your man a coward?

If you happen to fall in love with a coward, for a long time you will not even suspect it. When the first delights from the candy-bouquet period pass, take a closer look at his behavior, carefully ask about past novels. The first sign of cowardice is blaming the woman for everything, impartial words addressed to her and harsh criticism.

The concept of "cowardice" is very broad, and accusations of cowardice can be very controversial. If a young man, in response to the attacks of hooligans, did not fight with them, this is prudence. If 5 months does not introduce a girl to her parents - this is unwillingness. And if he does not want to go into the army, this is a desire to build a career. Or is it cowardice?

Have you ever dealt with cowardly men?

It is rare that a gathering in the circle of girlfriends is complete without a discussion of what modern men are cowardly and irresponsible. Psychologist Tatyana Strashuk believes that before labeling, you should understand the reasons for the behavior of your chosen one.

Most recently, he said that you are his only one. And then suddenly disappeared without explanation. Now he hides and does not pick up the phone when you call. And you cry into your friend's vest, in your hearts calling him a coward. And really, why does he not have the courage to admit honestly, looking into his eyes, that he no longer wants to continue the relationship?

You can’t measure men and women with the same yardstick, warns psychologist Tatyana Strashuk. - Often women treat men without understanding how different we are. A woman, like a fish in water, feels herself in the inner "circle". This is family, home, relationships with loved ones. The nature of a man is in external activities: conquest, work, protection, action. For the same reason, a man's emotional sphere is not as developed as a woman's. Most men, even discovering moments of sensitivity in themselves, are afraid of them, considering them not masculine.

Thus, for a woman, emotions are her kingdom, for a man - something dangerous, alarming. This is not their sphere, here they feel like "snakes in a hot frying pan." And if a woman can have intimate conversations with her friends for hours, then for a man such conversations are a moment of extreme, almost intimate openness, vulnerability. And if so, then there is always the danger of "missing a blow." Therefore, it is much easier for a man to prefer action to talk, even if the action is the choice of inaction, that is, avoiding the problem.

Now it’s clear why your chosen one chose to hide instead of sorting things out with you? And indeed, many men admit that it is easier for them to "get in the face" than to be condemned, to feel humiliated, offended. But it is precisely this man who is most afraid of conflict situations.

So many male actions that seem to us to be cowardice and meanness are actually explained by the fear of their own experiences and feelings. Departing from solving problems, a man seems to forget about what worries him. Just because he's hiding and not answering his phone doesn't mean he's being dismissive of you. He hides from himself, and at the same time protects his self-esteem. The fear of one's own experiences, which will certainly arise at the time of a difficult "debriefing" in a relationship, includes such unconscious defense mechanisms in the psyche.

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As soon as your friend got pregnant, her companion shook like an aspen leaf. And then he asked for a time-out and drove away for two weeks to his mother. And the husband of another friend of yours has been wiping his pants for several years in a hateful position, receiving neither moral nor material satisfaction. At the same time, he desperately clings to this place, afraid of losing what he has. And you, at the women's council, put a categorical diagnosis on both poor fellows: a coward, an irresponsible infantile, a sissy.

You may have noticed that different people react differently to danger. Some freeze - fear paralyzes them, others, on the contrary, react quickly, flee. What may seem natural to a woman, such as pregnancy, a man may perceive as a signal of danger. And... run away.

In general, the fear of responsibility is a fairly common phenomenon, especially in our time. And not only in men. Often it stems from a wrong attitude to the very concept of responsibility. In my practice, I have come across the fact that the very word "responsibility" causes fear and rejection in many people. This means that everything that is directly or indirectly connected with responsibility will be reflected by fear until a person realizes that in fact responsibility is what happens to him every moment of his life, whether he wants it or not, he accepts it. it or run from it. Because only the person himself is responsible for his life and everything that happens in it. It is he who receives all the consequences from his actions, thoughts, words.

As long as a person is under the illusion that someone or something outside is responsible for what is happening to him, he will behave infantilely, immaturely towards himself and others. Only the realization that I and only I am the master of my life, the cause and effect of what is happening, allows a person to accept ALL the consequences of his actions.

What are the causes of irresponsible and immature behavior?

♦ A man in the family could be treated like a child for a long time, not trusting him with important matters. Therefore, he is used to the fact that all important decisions are not made by him. In adult life, especially at critical moments, he reacts in a similar way - like a child who is waiting for someone to come and decide everything for him. And lets everything go. After all, he lacks the experience of taking responsibility, faith in himself and his ability to make decisions.

♦ The man subconsciously learned the irresponsible behavior of his father or other significant men in his family.

♦ The boy grew up without a father, and the mother fulfilled the functions of two roles. At the same time, she did not bring up masculine qualities in a child, did not explain male functions and psychological differences between the sexes. Especially if the child at the same time was the "navel of the universe", and he was assigned only the royal role of "sissy". In adulthood, such a man will wait for decisions and actions from a woman, sincerely offended by the demands to be responsible for his words and deeds, not understanding why this is expected of him.

Can a man's behavior be changed?

Knowing the reasons makes it easier to understand the situation, but does not change it, says Tatyana Strashuk. - No one can ever change anyone, remake without personal desire. A person can influence something only through himself, realizing his own mistakes. And here the most important thing is the understanding of the woman herself, that it was such a man that she met for a reason, with something in herself she attracted him into her life. Apparently, some subconscious signals come from her to the outside world, which are consonant with a man of such behavior. If you are treated irresponsibly, they lie to you, then this most likely means that you are doing this to yourself. So, it is possible to change this situation by researching: WHAT IN ME attracts irresponsible and cowardly men into my life? Our relationship with the world, and especially with men, reflects our relationship with ourselves. After all, the world is a mirror in which everyone sees his own reflection.

Tatyana Koryakina

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 6 minutes

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Let's talk about men's fears and cowardice. What are men afraid of? Do our men have the right to be afraid and show cowardice at all? How to distinguish real cowardice from a wise and calm approach to life? The topic of this article is “is my man a coward”.

Quite often, women's forums create topics about male fears and cowardice: “My boyfriend is a coward!”, “My lover is a coward!”, “My father is a coward!” "My husband is a coward!" In these topics, girls describe situations in which, as they think, their man behaved like a real coward, showed spinelessness, gave in, got scared. And is it really so?

This article proposes to discuss the various situations in which any man may find himself. Let's consider them from different angles and try to figure out where is cowardice, where is wisdom, and where is just indifference. What do we mistake for male cowardice, and what is courage? When are men's fears justified?

Coward or tough driver? Situations on the road, when parking and if your beloved lady is driving.

Your man was unexpectedly overtaken or brutally cut off on the road. Should he catch up with the offender and "punish"?

Where do we see cowardice? In this situation, hysteria can be considered a manifestation of cowardice. Hysteria can manifest itself in a crazy driving style, unusual for an adequate state of the driver, loud obscene screams and screams, tears. Obvious manifestations of fear and cowardice are - unrestrained urination, refusal to drive a car completely.

How can you justify? However, this, like stopping for a smoke break, is not considered cowardice if there was a real threat to the life of passengers or the life of the driver himself in a traffic situation. Every person has a fear of death.

Not to be confused with intemperance and aggressiveness! Today, more and more often we hear in the news, read stories on blogs about how someone fired at someone on the road with bats, broke glass, fired at a car, stabbed someone as a punishment for this or that traffic situation. Girls, in no case should you ever take such men for brave heroes. They did not defend their honor! They showed incontinence, unhealthy aggression. Such men, as a rule, go over their heads in life, feel with impunity, achieve a lot, but do it at the expense of other people. Remember! Men who are ready to assert themselves at the expense of the lives and health of other people, in fact, are extremely unsure of their strengths and the value of their own lives and regularly try to prove to themselves that they are not cowards and are worth something in this life.

Should he vacate a “foreign” parking space.

According to the law, if a man really parked on someone else's plot of land, then he should be shown a paper that says that "the place has been bought or rented by some company." If you come to visit and park in someone else's yard and a man is asked to repark the car, and the place is clearly public, then options come up.

Where do we see cowardice? The man apologized and calmly moved.

How can you justify? Perhaps he was not at all afraid, but simply very tired and did not want to get involved in uncomfortable dialogues. Another option, he was asked to park by his grandfather, a veteran, or a girl with three babies and five packages from Ikea)) Here your man is well done!)

Do not confuse cowardice with prudence. Perhaps a stronger, more authoritative man asked him to give way, and your boyfriend, your husband decided that in this situation it is safer (including for you) to give in, and not get involved in a conflict. Ideally, before leaving, the husband should try to negotiate with the person. Explain that he is here for a couple of hours. If you are not adequate in front of you, and the husband is objectively weaker physically and does not have special connections, then indeed, the decision to leave will be reasonable!

You got into an accident, you have parking problems. Tell your loved one.

You tell your husband, lover, boyfriend about your problem and wait for his reaction. What will a real man do? Let's start with the fact that if you called him, it means that you have already informed him about the problem and need support. However, in the hustle and bustle of business, it is difficult to understand what kind of support you need - to calm you down by phone or to come urgently? Say it yourself!

Where do we see cowardice? You got into an accident or an unpleasant situation in the parking lot, ask to come, and he refuses, despite the absence of very important things.

How can you justify? Perhaps you are the type of lady whose broken nail is also a tragedy? Men also get tired of constantly satisfying our whims, even if in general they like this trait in our character. Another option is that you yourself create conflict situations around yourself, you yourself climb on the rampage and are used to the fact that he solves these problems for you. Perhaps only you like this game, and he decided to teach you a lesson and make you solve the problem yourself.

Not to be confused with indifference and busyness. If a man does not come to the rescue - this is a signal. It is worth thinking about how much you are dear to him and whether you care at all. Also, reconsider your attitude to his affairs, what may seem unimportant to you, may be important to him.

Is our man a protector? Situations in which the manifestation of male power is required is to protect the girl from others.

Standard situation on the street. Other men pester you - robbers or just hooligans. There are several of them, your husband is one.

Where do we see cowardice? Cowardice can be considered if your man runs away, leaving you alone to figure it out, or grabs your hand and offers to run away quickly together.

How can you justify? Perhaps he understands that he really can’t cope with them, and the hooligans got aggressive, then running away together is one of the options for a reasonable solution.

Not to be confused with wisdom. When there are really several guys and a man objectively understands that he cannot defeat them, it is also reasonable to: a) try to explain verbally that it is better not to mess with you b) ignore the pestering and move on.

My man is a hero! If the guy nevertheless got involved in the battle with scumbags, realizing that the outcome can be anything - he is either reckless or a hero). Here you need to look at the situation. But sometimes, we girls, it is worth considering what is more important for us - to be with a dead hero or a disabled hero, or to be with a reasonable, but healthy coward!?

You got into a fight with a woman. Should a man intervene?

Where do we see cowardice? The man has withdrawn from your conflict.

How can you justify? Many men prefer not to get involved in women's showdowns, so as not to come out guilty. This is partly cowardice, and partly wisdom and experience.

Not to be confused with intemperance. He decided to teach the offender a lesson and beat her well or swore obscenely. Now think about the fact that he violated our favorite taboo “not to beat a woman”, maybe he will someday use force against you?

My man is a hero! You can consider your man a hero if he helped to remove from you an insane person who rushed at you with fists. Do not hit, namely, remove! Or take you away from the place of the conflict situation. Thus, he simply extinguished the conflict and at the same time retained his image of a cultured, calm, self-confident person.

Love and cowardice. When are men afraid of real feelings?

He doesn't say "I love you". Fears?

How can you justify? Perhaps these words have a really VERY great meaning for him. He doesn't waste words. And he will tell you the cherished 3 words before making an offer, when he is completely sure that you are two halves.

Does he not love you? The second and only option is that his feelings for you cannot be called love. Perhaps there is only sympathy between you on his part, or perhaps he does not initially consider any serious relationship between you.

He doesn't want to get married. He is afraid of the stamp in his passport.

How can you justify? Perhaps your man's fears are reinforced by the fact that he has an unsuccessful marriage, a runaway bride, or a bad example of parents behind him. We recommend that you persuade your loved one to contact a psychotherapist for advice.

Not to be confused with cowardice! Some men (especially young ones) are embarrassed by marriage as such, especially if their young friends are still walking around and changing partners. For them, marriage, like cohabitation, is a restriction of freedom not only for their own, but also in the eyes of others. Such cowardice passes with time.

Does he not love you? There is also such an option. A man subconsciously or even already consciously realizes that it is more and more difficult for him to call the feelings between you as love. Perhaps he got bored, "burned out", or maybe he just thinks that it's difficult to live with you. If you are an independent lady and demonstrate it in every possible way, then the man is afraid that he will have to spend his whole life fighting for you and he will not be able to be the master of his fate. Also, pay attention to how calm and comfortable it is to live with you? Do you scandal? Are you good at cooking? Men love comfort and are afraid to lose it.

The main thing girls, do not forget that men are the same people as you and I. Sometimes their fears grow deep from childhood, sometimes they are related to the environment, sometimes they are born in the course of acquiring one or another life experience. Try to support your men, help them fight their fears. Their success is in your hands!

Valeria Protasova

Psychologist with more than three years of practical experience in social psychology-pedagogics. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know. I believe that human relationships are important in all spheres of our life.

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Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency Me and You, interpersonal relationship consultant, family psychologist, notes that in relation to a normal man, a feeling of pity is unacceptable, because it is a flawed feeling. A lady, of course, can feel sorry for the representative of the stronger sex, but only if there is a real reason for this: illness, the collapse of a business, the loss of a loved one by a man. In all other situations, this feeling is superfluous. And living with a man out of pity is one of the biggest mistakes a woman can make in her life.

“A woman becomes unhappy because she has to shoulder another male function. Due to the fact that you have to work for two, the lady is aging early, both physically and emotionally, because there are fewer and fewer reasons for joy. Eyes dim, health problems begin. A woman living with is a woman who does not have female happiness, ”says the psychologist.

self-sacrifice

According to an interpersonal relationship consultant, not all ladies are able to sacrifice themselves for a miserable man, who, as a rule, are weak men. Among them are infantiles, and so on. Most often, women agree to live with weak men, whom their parents did not like and did not caress in childhood. Perhaps these are ladies who grew up in single-parent families. Or in families where there were both father and mother, but the girl was brought up in strictness, emotions were stopped: “Don’t cry”, “You must”, “Take care”, “Be patient”. Or when parents, both in words and actions, demonstrated how difficult it is for them to raise a child. The girl, having accepted the attitude of her own inferiority and sacrifice from childhood, transfers it into adulthood, and lives according to the principle to please everyone. Usually such ladies have an exaggerated sense of responsibility, they do not have their own "I" and they are sure that without them everything will be lost. They often explain their relationship with a miserable man in this way: "He will be lost without me."

Dangerous weaklings

Pathetic men, in turn, are very dangerous people. These are egocentrists with a tough character, who also received less love and attention in childhood. They are angry at the whole world, but carefully hide it, preferring not to show aggression, but to put pressure on pity.

“It would be easier if the man showed open aggressive behavior. Then everything would be clear with him - angry, but he does not hold a stone in his bosom. And in a situation with weak, miserable men, everything is not so simple. They love to intrigue, to suck up here, to flatter here, and at the right time - with a pebble on the back of the head, ”says Kuznetsova, stating that this type of people is dangerous because they skimp on loved ones, knowing their weaknesses, and at the same time press very painfully.

Women always know what kind of man they live with. Strong - usually make decisions and protect a woman from problems, so that she feels,. Weaklings, as a rule, shift the burden of responsibility and decision-making onto their partner and constantly complain about life.

Even the most serious troubles will not unsettle a strong man, he will not sink to deep drunkenness and endless whining, but will look for a way out of the situation and move on. Weak - begins to panic even with minor troubles.

Useful information

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and You", family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35. Call on weekdays from 11:00 to 19:00.

If trouble...

A separate situation is when people have been living together for a long time, and suddenly a man becomes disabled as a result of an accident or an accident. The woman continues to live with him, despite physical injuries. And the husband cannot believe this and is sure that his wife stays with him out of pity. It is impossible to convince him. In this case, Elena Kuznetsova advises showing the man to a specialist. According to her, it is worth contacting a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist, because a psychologist cannot cope with such a serious psychological trauma. We need a thorough treatment and rehabilitation.

If you want to suggest your topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected] .

I will note right away that I am not a supporter of the division of household duties into male and female. If a young lady doesn’t like, doesn’t know how or doesn’t want to cook, but at the same time repairs sockets or plumbing quite masterfully, then let her fix sockets and plumbing, and I will cook borscht, no problem. But if my woman tells me: “Vasya, something sparkled and popped there, we seem to be on fire now,” I have to get up and deal with this damn socket. This is my task, because I am a man. And this, by the way, does not mean that I am not afraid. I'm not an electrician, so I'm afraid, yes. But I have no right to remove myself from the problem. I should at least shut down the house and call an electrician. Me. Not her.

I think that everyone understands this, and everyone expects this from a man, of course. This is not a disaster, but a common domestic incident. But it is important to understand that you cannot have a normal relationship with a man who in this situation will say: “I don’t know what to do, call somewhere.” Because life is completely unpredictable. No one knows where you will end up together in a few years. You cannot predict when your car engine will boil on a back road, when something will happen to the wiring in your country house (according to the law of meanness - at 3 o'clock in the morning on New Year's Eve), when any household trouble will occur. And I can predict. This will happen exactly when you have nowhere to wait for help. And what will you do then? Well, if you're not the kind of girl who loves fixing outlets?

Therefore, do not waste your time on a coward who offers you to solve these problems on your own. Otherwise, you will be doing this for the rest of your life. And one more thing: sockets, let's be honest, rarely spark. Cranes break through not every day either, shelves fall once every five years, and repairs are an event that happens once every 10 years. And daily household chores are not scary. Don't be afraid to wash the dishes, don't be afraid to take out the trash, don't be afraid to vacuum. How to check if he is a coward, for an hour? Very simple: send it to the pharmacy for pads. If he is scared, because "he's a man!" - He's not a man. He is a coward. Hit him in the neck.

Marriage

This is the situation that does not need to be explained, as it seems to me. If a man lives with you, sleeps in the same bed, invites mutual friends to the house, goes to the damn Ikea with you on weekends, but is not ready to officially marry you, he is a coward.

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If he tells you that he is "not ready yet" - he is deceiving you. The mythical freedom that he allegedly loses in marriage exists only in his head. There is no freedom other than internal. And, if it is, no stamp in the passport will take it away. And if it is not there, this stamp, all the more, will not change anything.

And you understand, I hope, what he's really afraid of: he's afraid of responsibility. For you. And not just afraid, but does not want to take it upon himself. Because the notorious stamp does not change anything in the relationship itself, and even more so in feelings: you lived together and will continue to live, and if you have feelings, official marriage will not strengthen or weaken them. But it will change a lot in terms of responsibility. From now on, a man will have responsibilities that were not there before. He will be obliged to share his property with you. He will be obliged to be responsible for your common children, if they appear. In a civil marriage, of course, he is also obliged to be responsible for the children, but, in which case, he can merge, and you will have to prove that the child is really his. And in marriage, you don't have to. And he understands it. And there are many more moments that a truly loving man takes for granted. A coward does not accept. He does not accept and tries with all his might to avoid official marriage. And I'm ready to bet anything that you, cohabiting with a man, consider yourself his wife.

And he does not consider himself a husband, no. And you must understand this. You must understand that if a man avoids marriage by all means, it means that he is either a coward or a scoundrel. As they say, both are worse.

childbirth

And now we get to the worst part. Not for pregnancy. Not for kids at all. To childbirth. To what you yourself are desperately afraid of. To the point where you really need his help. By the time you need him all, along with all his metaphysical giblets.

I live in the 21st century. I should not lock my wife in a bathhouse with a midwife, but I myself should walk in circles with a pitchfork at the ready, supposedly driving away evil spirits. I should be there. And if I'm scared, I'm not a man.

There is no "mystery of childbirth", and you must understand this. This is a natural physiological process, and there is nothing to worry about. You can google thousands of videos from maternity hospitals in 30 seconds and you can see how everything happens. There is nothing wrong with that. And yes, I want to say terrible: what is natural is not ugly. If your man needs you only in the form of a fairy that poops roses, he doesn’t need you. Yes, childbirth is not a very pleasant process. But if my woman is sick, I will hold her hair and clean the basin after her - although this, I confess, is much more unpleasant than childbirth, in my opinion. If my woman, God forbid, becomes bedridden, I will change her diapers. Why, one wonders, should I be afraid of childbirth while doing this? Actually, she's having my baby. I am his father. What should I be afraid of?

I'll tell you what. Some creatures, for some reason calling themselves men, are afraid for their precious potency. And, which is wild for me, women support them in this: they say, here he will look, and then he will not want me. Oh God!

Young ladies, remember: this does not threaten healthy male potency in any way. Unless, of course, a man has a healthy psyche and he is not a bastard. And I think that if a man refuses partner childbirth, he is still a bastard, yes. Because you will never be more defenseless than in this moment. You can have a great midwife, you can choose the best doctor, you can responsibly prepare for childbirth and not be afraid (but not being afraid is unlikely, of course), but you will never again feel as alone as in childbirth. One of my friends said: “Renal colic is a hundred times more painful than childbirth. And breaking a leg is much more unpleasant. But giving birth is scarier. Because at some point you feel that your body has betrayed you. It's like it's not yours anymore."