How to get rid of negative thoughts? Any person assimilates negative news faster and better than positive. That is why bad thoughts settle deeply in the mind and it is more difficult for a person to get rid of them. Negative thoughts often lead to tears, emptiness and depression, depression, and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Therefore, it is very important when unfavorable thoughts arise to be able to cope with them in time.

How to get rid of negative intrusive thoughts?

The first thing to understand is that obsessive thoughts are. They have an irrational, emotional, unconscious nature. These unfavorable judgments are associated with those deprived of everything reasonable - complexes, anxieties,. The emotions that are formed make the individual constantly think about something, as if they signal a problem and the need to solve it.

Obsessive thoughts also perform a positive function. They remind a person of the difficulties that he needs to solve. But, often, these thoughts do not always indicate any real problem.

The device for the emergence of obsessive thoughts is rather subtle. Obsessive judgments or internal dialogue is a mental phenomenon that creates a painful feeling in a person of forcedly repeated thoughts appearing in the head, leading to obsessive behavior in the future. From the constant appearance of unwanted desires, fears, the true problem is exaggerated, while being distorted. There are often several such negative judgments. They form a vicious circle in which a person “runs” like a “squirrel in a wheel” unable to break it.

The leading cause of the emergence and development of all unfavorable judgments is the habit of internal conversation with oneself, an unconscious, constant discussion of new and old issues.

The next reason is the belief in personal beliefs, as well as a deep attachment to these attitudes. Most people have intrusive thoughts to some degree. However, many individuals do not think about this, classifying them as a correct, natural way of thinking. As soon as the internal dialogue becomes a habit, it manifests itself not only in important issues, but also in any daily, everyday situations.

Common sense will help get rid of the negative judgment. It is necessary to figure out whether obsessive thoughts are the basis for some real problem. It often happens that the mental "chewing gum" harasses a person, exaggerating the problem, but an inflated problem does not mean the absence of one. Therefore, it is required to consider whether there are reasons for such judgments.

Getting rid of negative judgments, one should not ignore the problem if it exists, for example, if it seems to a person that he has some kind of illness and speculation about it is constantly present. Maybe the fears are indeed not groundless, and the person has symptoms of some kind of disease. In this case, it would be advisable to visit a doctor than to guess. If this has already been done and nothing has been found, then this far-fetched problem should be forgotten.

There is absolutely no point in thinking constantly about the problem, if there is one. It is either necessary to try to solve it or forget about it completely, if it is invented. This is the main point in the fight against intrusive thoughts when common sense and logic should be applied.

How to get rid of negative thoughts that do not go out of your head?

Advice on this subject may be different. A person himself needs to understand that being in a depressed state, life can turn into a series of dull and gray everyday life. Thus, the personality itself "poisons" life. You can't live with sadness. It is necessary to try to get rid of negative thoughts, thinking about the good, otherwise a constant depressive mood will lead to illness.

Negative thinking that is present in an individual on a regular basis is harmful to health. Everyone has long known that most diseases arise from constant worries and worries, for example (headache, hypertension, arthritis, stomach ulcers). Scientists have proven that the constant presence of negative thoughts is a trigger for the development of cancer cells.

Thinking only about the bad, a person mentally attracts precisely negative events into his life. Thinking about the negative, a person is already programming himself for failure. He seems to be already mentally ready for it, thinking over in his head the options for retreat in case of failure and inevitably moving towards this. An insecure person does not know or forgets that only complete confidence is the key to prosperity and success.

It is extremely important to get rid of negative thoughts and emotions, because there is a possibility, experiencing constantly negative emotions, to become a patient of a neuropsychiatric clinic. It should be remembered that all mentally ill people began their journey with obsessive thoughts. If negative thoughts do not leave the person for a long time, it is time to see a psychotherapist.

The appearance of negative thoughts is facilitated by a certain push, for example, some information from the outside. Consider a specific example: a person learns from the news about a plane crash in which people died, he is imbued with this tragedy. If, in addition, his emotional state is suppressed, and psychological health is unstable, then this fear can become a real mania. A person will constantly begin to think that this can happen to him too, analyzing how many times a year he and his relatives fly on airplanes. Involuntarily, terrible speculations begin to creep into the head regarding the fact that beloved relatives or the individual who thinks about this may die. Thoughts of such a plan completely absorb a person, growing like a "snowball". In this case, it is very important to tell yourself “stop” in time and stop thinking about the bad.

Psychologists use in their terminology such concepts as "automatic negative thoughts", describing ideas that enter a person's head against his will, leaving behind unpleasant and chaotic emotions. Aaron Beck, the creator of cognitive therapy, believes that these thoughts plunge a person into a vicious circle of suffering, setting a general attitude that leads either to, or to unhappiness, or to anxiety, and as a result, generating new negative judgments. Brain plasticity data confirms that it is possible to break this cycle of negativity by replacing it with something positive, and a person can learn to stop their thoughts on their own. The first step in getting rid of negativity is to become aware of your automatic negative thoughts. Many people attribute the emergence of a negative judgment to an adequate description of what is happening. But it is worth noting that negative thoughts always promote only one point of view and a person forgets that there is always another point of view.

Categories of negative thinking. Each person has a different set of negative thoughts that fall into the following general categories: black-and-white thinking, attributing one's thoughts to others, predicting, downplaying the positive, blaming, catastrophic thoughts, name-calling, unrealistic expectations, dramatization, overgeneralization.

There are techniques to get rid of negative thinking.

Technique - cutting.

As soon as there is a feeling that a negative thought has crept into the consciousness, one should simply “cut off” it. There is no need to analyze or argue about it, and there is no need to defend against it either. You just need to cut it off from yourself, and put something else in its place. The key principle here is that you need to do it immediately, at the very moment as soon as that very thought arose.

Technique - observation from the outside.

This technique lies in the fact that a person does not move away from a negative thought, but watches it as if from the side and does not allow it to master him. Negative thoughts have power over a person if he reacts to them.

Technique is an exaggeration.

When you discover the birth of negativity in yourself, a person must exaggerate it to the point of absurdity. The key here is to make the negative funny. One has to catch oneself in a negative thought, knowing that consciousness is a great deceiver. Every day consciousness tries to play some kind of joke. Being observant and noticing it, it is necessary to resort to the technique of exaggeration. This absurdity helps to de-power the negative thought, since the negative judgment has power as long as the individual reacts to it.

Technique is resistance.

Everything that a negative thought dictates to a person should be turned into a complete opposite. For example, as soon as the thought “I can’t make a sale” arises, you need to put in its place a contradictory judgment: “I will succeed in making a sale.” If the thought comes to an individual, "I'm not going to be financially successful for anything," one should respond with the exact opposite, saying to oneself, "I'm going to be hugely financially successful."

As soon as the opinion arises, “I am not capable of anything, I am not good for anything,” one should say to oneself “I am capable of much, I am a very unusual person.”

An individual cannot think about the negative and the positive at the same time, the consciousness is able to think about one thing, and by throwing the negative out of the consciousness and putting a positive judgment in its place, the person deprives the negative of power over himself.

In conclusion, I would like to add that an indispensable change of hobbies favorably contributes to the interest in life and, as a result, helps to reduce the number of bad judgments. It is very important that hobbies are renewed, because in this case they will carry away and take away all the extra time spent on destructive thoughts.

21.03.2018

Negative attitudes are the most wonderful discovery of psychology. Doubt?

I'm not here, because, each of you will agree that if you know the enemy by sight, you can defeat him!

Knowing that you can identify your negative attitudes and remove them is amazing for all of us. After all, this means that you can change your programs in the subconscious and create a new destiny.

The results are amazing. Everything that we write comes true at the speed of light!!! Don't believe?

Want to practice on your own? Then this article is for you!

What are installations?

Attitudes are our opinions, thoughts and beliefs.

For example, I live in Moscow and I believe that 100,000 rubles is the average salary on which one can exist, but it is difficult to live well. After reading this phrase, a resident of another, less wealthy city will think that I have lost my mind. Indeed, in his city, earning 100 thousand rubles means being rich.

Who among us is right? We are both right. We just live with different belief systems.

Imagine two women in their 40s. One of them has been happily married to a good husband for many years. They love each other and do everything together. This woman is convinced that there are many interesting smart worthy men in the world who are honest, faithful and sincerely care about their women.

The second woman is not so successful in relationships. She is often unlucky and she sincerely believes (or rather knows) that there are few normal men in the country (all were killed in the war), those who remained are either alcoholics or ladies' men. In general, it is difficult for men to believe, because everyone changes.

Which of them is right? Both. They just have different belief systems.

How these beliefs arise, I wrote already in the article.

How do attitudes shape our lives?

Some of you, dear readers, might think that there is nothing surprising here - one person was lucky to live in Moscow, and as for women, this was fate ...

Reality exists independently of you as long as you agree with it.

In fact, it is not reality that determines beliefs, but quite the contrary. Our belief system literally CREATES our lives.

Our brain is simply not able to see in reality what is not in our belief system.

The effect of cognitive distortions

Thinking errors (limiting attitudes) form a person's ideas about himself and the world.

Imagine a person who is convinced that acting does not make money. He meets up with friends and hears two different stories from them. In one, friends tell him about the success of a classmate who has become a highly paid actor. The other is about how their former colleague quit her job and got burned out on her decision to try an acting career.

Whose story will he believe? More likely the second one. Thus, he will demonstrate one of the cognitive distortions - the tendency to confirm his point of view. Or a person's tendency to seek information that is consistent with their point of view, belief, or hypothesis.

Beliefs often have nothing to do with reality. And instead of making our lives easier and protecting us from frustration and pain, they make us less happy.

Now imagine that he was introduced to that successful classmate who made a career in acting. Will he change his mind, or will he demonstrate the perseverance effect of holding an opinion even when the supporting evidence has been refuted?

Beliefs are formed through experience and information received from outside, they are due to numerous distortions of thinking. Beliefs often have nothing to do with reality.

We only see what is consistent with our beliefs.

Basically we are blind...

Neuroscience about Beliefs

The more often a person repeats a certain action, the stronger becomes the neural connection between brain cells that are jointly activated to carry out this action. The more often a neural connection is activated, the higher the likelihood of these neurons activating in the future. And that means a higher probability of doing the same as usual.

The opposite statement is also true: between neurons that are not synchronized, a neural connection is not formed.

You should know that the synoptic connection between neurons can change. The use of neural connections that represent a certain skill and way of thinking leads to their strengthening. If the action or belief is not repeated, the neural connections weaken.

This is how a skill is acquired: whether it is the ability to act or the ability to think in a certain way.

Remember how you learned something new, repeated the learned lesson over and over again until you achieved success in learning. Changes are possible. Beliefs are changeable.

The Best Technique for Dealing with Negative Beliefs

This practice was shared with me by Oksana Kamenetskaya, here is what she says about the history of the creation of this technique:

One day in 2012, I heard this exercise from Lisa Nichols. She told it very quickly with a beaming smile, and it seemed to me that it was all so easy, somehow funny, and I decided to just take it all and repeat it. I didn’t have a mentor, I didn’t have a coach, I had no one to tell me. Accordingly, I just took and did what she said.

We need simple tools. We take a notebook, the most ordinary one from the stationery store. For 18 sheets, no less. You will also need a simple pencil (it is very important to have a regular pencil, not a pen), a pen with red ink and an eraser.

The fundamental point is that the notebook should have at least 16 sheets, not 16 pages, but sheets. You will need this notebook for the next six months. She will become your own, amazing dream that will lead you to a new life.

The exercise must be done strictly following the step-by-step instructions.

Imagine that I gave you the recipe for your new life. If you see fit to do something in your sequence, you'll get a different result, but it won't be as fantastic.

How to identify limiting beliefs?

We need to take and write out everything, absolutely all of ourthe limitations in life that we have. But the thing is, it's easy to say this: "You write down your negative beliefs."

And how to write them out, where to find them, where to get them from?

Let's agree on terms. We will talk about whatour limiting beliefs are just ourspersistent thoughts.

This is that internal conversation, internal dialogue with yourself,which we are leading.Very often we do not even notice these thoughts at all, we justso we live. But it is precisely these thoughts, formed over very long years,through long repetitions of the same thing to ourselves, they form our today's life and today's reality.

And the exercise is that this is such a game, this is such a race, hunting. Your task is to find, capture and write down these beliefs with a pencil. And the task of these beliefs is to hide from you.

Which one of you wins, you will live such a life.

We start with the part of the exercise that is not the most positive, but it is the most important.

If you have an inner state now, what to live like thisimpossible if you say to yourself:

Since I live, I can no longer live like this and do not want to. I can no longer live in such relationships or without relationships, I can no longer live in lack of money, I can’t do anything, what I undertake, everything doesn’t add up, notlucky in everything and so on.

If you are ready to change something, remember, today is your day.

How to get rid of negative thoughts?

Very good and important if you are already prepared forthis exercise. Well, if you have been reading my blog for a long time, trying to set goals, trying affirmations.

But the point of this exercise is that if you justread affirmations:

• I live in a beautiful house
• I have a good and harmonious relationship
• I have a good team
• I travel the world

But internally you think in a completely different way, your internal convictions will win.

Let's take our notebook and a simple pencil or red pen.

On the notebook itself, write today's date and the phrase:Today I start my new life.

Over time, everything is forgotten, and in a year you will look at this notebook and remember how it all began.

We open the notebook. On the first sheet, we write the area of ​​​​life on which we will work. And after that we leave four more sheets.

Then again on top we write the name of another sphere of life and leave four more sheets. And we do the same with the third sphere and the fourth sphere.

If you listened to me and took a notebook with 18 sheets, you will have more sheets left for the fourth sphere.

1. We take the first sphere, we write: Money, work and business.
2. Second area: Relationships.
3. Third sphere: Health.
4. Fourth area: Personal growth.

This exercise cannot be performed on a computer, it will not mean anything. We work only in a notebook. It is fundamentally. Here is the work of your hand, notebook and subconscious. It is this combination that gives the result.

As for the fourth sphere, Personal growth, many people say: “I won’t even write two lines.” But still, believe me, leave 6 sheets for this sphere. In this area, you can write indefinitely.

You must write the entire notebook, it should not be otherwise.

Step by Step Plan for Finding Negative Beliefs

Under the very first heading "Money, work and business" we write only one phrase in pencil that we think about money. And we do the same in other areas. Pencil.

Attention, we write only one phrase with a pencil. And after each written phrase in each area, we leave, approximately, a paragraph, that is, as much space as the phrase you have already written has taken from you.

Then we write the next phrase that we think about this area, only with a pencil. And again we leave a place after this phrase.

And so we continue to do with all spheres. It is very important at this stage to write everything in pencil at 100%.

Thus, you should have the entire notebook written in pencil. Including the blank spaces that you left after your phrases, there should not be an empty sheet left in the notebook. Write everything in pencil, leaving blank paragraphs after each phrase.

Only after you have written down all your beliefs in all four areas, do you pick up a red pen and do the second part of the exercise.

What are your beliefs now?

Limiting beliefs are something that has been shaped in us all our lives. Usually, these are thoughts that begin with phrases such as: "I believe / I'm sure / ironclad / guaranteed / no doubt."

If you have something to say: yes, it seems to be so, I heard- it is not your belief.

Expression: "That's what I will not undertake in life - guaranteed to be a failure" - it is your conviction.

“I believe that all the troubles in life are from money” - this is your belief.

You take this notebook and your first thought is: “so, well, what can I dowrite here what my limiting beliefs are?

Don't think about it, don't think about subconscious programs. Justask yourself questions about each area.

Attention! Often, limiting beliefs are heard in our heads as the voice of a parent, grandmother, or strict teacher. If you find yourself too often unworthy of having anything,

How to identify negative attitudes about money, business work?

You have entered the realm of Money. Work and Business. Ask yourself a question: then I think about money and business? What do I think about finance?

You may think:

“Money does not grow on a tree, the rich are evil and cynical people, in order to earn a lot, you need to work for days.”

Remember what you were told as a child about money. And so write:

"My grandmother always said that money does not bring happiness."

Or do you look at your life and think:

“I don’t have enough money to pay for a communal apartment, I don’t have money for a vacation, I always live from paycheck to paycheck.”

You write what you really think. Write short sentences, no need to describe long stories. When you have written all this, proceed to the next area.

Check out this article to see which attitudes are yours.

Negative beliefs about love and relationships

Here we are talking not only about love relationships, but also about relationships in the family, with parents and children, with work colleagues, neighbors and so on.

How to get rid of negative attitudes, see the video

Ask yourself the question: “What do I think about relationships?”

Frequent beliefs about love relationships that live in people are:

• All men are ko**s
• All women only want money
• All my relationships end quickly
• Nobody loves me
• Always in a couple someone loves more (and that, of course, is me)
• If a person sees my love, he immediately leaves

Dig deeper, maybe in your childhood someone said something bad about your appearance, and it stuck in your subconscious.

You can enter your thought about yourself if you think that you are ugly / ugly, your butt is too big, or your legs are short. Write down all such beliefs in a notebook.

Your task is to find all your thoughts on the topic of any relationship and unload everything on paper. They wrote a conviction - they left a place after it. Wrote another - left a place.

Negative health beliefs

Let's move on to health. As it is right, no one wants to write anything in this area. This means that there is a lot to work on, but we hide it. Our task is to be honest to the end.

We write: I have crooked teeth, I don't take care of my health, I don't go in for sports, I drink a lot, I smoke, my eyes hurt because I sit at the computer a lot.

Your personal attitude to medicine, doctors, clinics are also beliefs. If you have a negative attitude towards medical workers all your life, you may have health problems.

And this negativity and fear of not going to the hospital just leads to the fact that you have to go to hospitals and doctors a lot.

And the last area, the largest and most important.

Negative beliefs about yourself and your abilities

Here are some beliefs:

• I watch too much TV.
• I spend a lot of time on social networks.
• I don't read much.
• I'm not developing enough.
• I take a lot of courses, but I don't apply what I've learned.
• I don't understand the power of thought.
• I am unable to sit still.

While writing these beliefs, you should not have any internal dialogue (Why am I writing this? How will this help me fix my life? What does this have to do with my limitations?).

Also, you don't have to wonder if this thought is good or bad. For example, you think: I earn little. Is it good or bad? Maybe it's good for you that you earn little. It's your right.

We say that we write down all our beliefs on paper. And the more beliefs you write down in a notebook in the sphere of personal growth, the better.

How do you count on your strengths? Do you rely on the help of others, but no one helps you? Do you trust your intuition? Can you set goals? Are you good at managing your time?

All your thoughts about yourself that are not directly related to money, relationships and health - all this you write in the fourth sphere.

If we simply took the general picture of life, we would write very little. And if for ourselves we choose four areas of life, then it is easier for us to think where any thought in our head can be attributed.

You could see your beliefs in my examples. If not, sit down and think about your limitations, what your parents, teachers, neighbors, colleagues, bosses, and so on have told you. Collect all your beliefs and distribute them in a notebook in all four areas.

As soon as you add all this with a pencil, at the very end, be sure totwo things must be done. At the end, write with a pencil a phrase that you somehow formulate for yourself. Something like this: “If I become a successful, happy and rich person, most likely I will not be of benefit to people.

But only you write with a pencil and in the way you see it yourself.

And one more obligatory phrase, which at the end through the distance shouldto be is whether or not you trust a higher power at all. Do you believe in God, do you trust God. You can say - I rely only on my own strength in life and so on.

It is important to identify all settings!

Because if you don't do it now, they will also ruin your life later... I think it's even better not to do it in one day.

First, take the time to write your beliefs in pencil, take a break, and pick up a pen with red ink the next day.

Important advice. When you write with red ink, you do not think at all about what is happening in your life, you forget about what is in your head and what is currently around you.What you write in red ink has nothing to do with your life.You will not need to think anything, you will just come up with new phrases.

So the next day you pick up your red ink pen and start over. But it will be easier here, you don't have to think. Imagine that you just have a creative task. For each phrase that you wrote with a pencil, you simply write a refuting phrase.

In the present tense, she must be positive and she must not use "Not" with verbs.

For example, you wrote in the field of "money, work and business":I am a poor man, I earn little.

You do not need to write in red ink:I am not a poor person.

It won't work. You need to write:I am a rich person, I am a wealthy person, I am a prosperous person.

If you say that “I earn a lot of money” - that’s not necessary either. You need to write:I earn a lot, I have enough money for everything I want.

And this is how we go through all areas. By no means in thisdon't think for a moment:

Well, why am I writing this nonsense, it has nothing to do with what I think and think.

Yes, it has nothing to do with what you think and think. Your task is simply to write everything that is written in pencil nextred paste, refuting, in the present tense, without “not” and be sure to add some kind of emotion of happiness.

For example, you wrote in pencil:

• "I can't afford to stay in expensive hotels"
• "I can't afford to buy expensive gifts."

Then below you write:

• “I am happy and grateful that I rest in the best hotels of the world"
• "I buy gifts for my loved ones."

And so on until the very end.

The phrase that I recommended you write at the end (about money, that when you succeed, you will not be useful), you change to“I am getting even better, every day I bring more and more benefit to other people, the more money, resources, opportunities I have, the better I become.”

This is a very important program. The subconscious will help you develop more and more.

And a very important point where we talk about trusting the Universe.

I will share with you a big phrase that I wrote recently and it should be the final one after your whole story in red paste:

A higher power loves me and helps me realize my plans. I trust the divine intellect and convey my request to it. The deep wisdom of my subconscious knows how to realize and bring to life everything I have planned for the benefit of harmony, peace, kindness, health, prosperity for me, my family, other people and nature.

And this will be the conclusion of your entire notebook. This will be on the very last sheet.

How to end negative attitudes forever?

And this is the end of it all. In three days, only in 3 days you will be able to pick up an eraser. Before that, for three days, I recommend that you read your whole story in a row in the morning and in the evening. Everything you wrote in pencil and red ink.

Reading 16 and 18 sheets takes 1 hour. About 1 hour you remember what you wrote. You will start something like wiggles in the head , this happens because you have formed new bonds. They are still unstable, but the brain begins to form new neural connections, and these connections seem to start to move.

The first feeling is that this is normal, it should be so, this is right. The second feeling you will have is something like this:

“Well, why now I read everything that was written in pencil? I no longer want to read it, I only want to read what is written in red ink.”

They should be fixed among themselves in three days. And it looks like this:

The subconscious perceives only what is written in red paste. But first you need to hook it so that the subconscious knows that this is not an affirmation, but that you want to replace the old file with a new one. And then, when you have already read all three days, it looks something like when you want to overwrite files on your computer.

The subconscious asks if we save this file, then the already existing, old file will be deleted forever.

Replace? Replace.

So we're replacing it all. From the moment you erase all the pencil, you will be left with only red paste.

Erase the pencil and all your limitations will disappear.

A new picture of your life will remain and you begin to read it the same way, every day, morning and evening. This will take you 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.

And just like that within 6 months.

And that's all that you write, not only will it give you fantastic pleasure, you will gradually begin to introduce these new programs.

In the very first week, you will begin to see unusual events happening in your life.

If you have never been complimented, here you write in red ink:

"I bathe in compliments" and you will receive them.

If you haven't received gratitude, you will start receiving gratitude. If you have not received gifts and surprises, things that have never happened to you will begin to happen to you.

And if you are interested in learning about my experience of visualizing what you want, come to my free master class >>>

Which sit in many in the head and terribly interfere with leading a happy life.

Almost everything we know or think is a belief. You are convinced that the Earth revolves around the Sun, that twice two is four, that the President of Russia in 2010 is Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev.

Some of these beliefs do not directly affect your life (that there are kangaroos in Australia, and penguins in Antarctica). Some influence positively (confidence in one's own professionalism). Some are negative (belief in their own unattractiveness, awkwardness, stupidity). It is precisely with the latter that it is worth working. If you are aware of your belief, you can change it. One of the techniques is as follows.

1. Identify your negative belief.

So the first step is to identify your negative belief. For example, I will take my former belief that a bear stepped on my ear - I thought so until the age of 30. You can work with anyone. Convinced you won't learn how to sell? Can't make money? Manage staff? Work in Photoshop? Taking good pictures? No ability for foreign languages? Everything is in progress! :)

2. Choose the belief you would like to have instead.

In my case, "I can sing well." Here, of course, moderation will not hurt - I should not declare myself the second Maria Callas. You are unlikely to turn the belief "I am poor as a church mouse" into the belief "I am rich like Elena Baturina." However, it is quite possible to turn it into the belief "I have everything I need", or "I am able to earn good money", or "I can run a successful business"

3. Get rid of emotional baggage, secondary gain.

Often people hold on to their negative beliefs because they get a secondary benefit from it. For example, the belief that a person is not capable of occupying a high position saves from an abundance of work, great responsibility and intrigue. Convincing a woman that she is unattractive to men relieves her of the need to invest in building relationships and the fear of making a mistake in choosing.

The belief that a bear stepped on my ear fed my general low opinion of myself - of course, I can’t do anything, and I don’t have to take on anything, I don’t even hit the notes!

Check what secondary, emotional benefit do you get from your belief? Is it worth it to hold on to this belief? Think carefully about this question. Sometimes the answer to it will be “yes, it’s worth it,” and that’s okay. This is your life, and everything that is right-wrong and negative-positive in it is determined only by you.

If you answered “yes”, I congratulate you, you have now consciously accepted your belief, you can close your browser and do something more pleasant than working on yourself. If, nevertheless, the negative that the belief brings to you is greater than the benefit from it, read on.

4. Find out what evidence supports your negative belief.

All beliefs are supported by evidence, much like a table is supported by legs. Write them down in a column - write them all down until you run out. In my case it was:

* I myself hear that I don’t hit the notes when I sing

* the music teacher my parents sent me to said I was deaf

On these proofs beliefs are based. Without them, there would be no beliefs.

5. Restate the evidence.

Your belief is just one of the possible explanations for what happened. However, it is far from always the best, the right one, or the only one. Now the goal is to reformulate the evidence so that it no longer supports your negative belief.

* I hear that I miss the notes when I sing
* this just proves that I have a hearing, otherwise I would not hit the notes and DO NOT hear it

* I was not accepted to a music school
* I talked to my mother and found out that it was she herself, after talking with the teachers in the music school, who did not want to send me to a music school. There was too much pressure, and my mother decided that individual lessons with a teacher would leave me more time for both school and games. Exam results were irrelevant.
.
* the music teacher claimed that I was deaf
* the music teacher was an evil fury that I was afraid of (I cited her as an example in). It’s good that I just didn’t hit the notes, and didn’t stutter at all, so it’s not necessary to believe her words.

Sometimes you have to think a little to reformulate the proof. Some reformulation will not work at all - but there is nothing to worry about. The main thing is to get rid of most of them in order to shake the negative belief. When a table has only two legs, pushing it is much easier.

6. Find evidence for the belief you want to have.

Beliefs - they are from the word "persuade". Find evidence for your new belief. Moreover, as soon as you do the initial work, then your brain itself will look for confirmation in the same way as it now finds evidence to support the negative. As my psychologist friend says, "What the Thinker thinks, the Prover will prove." True, for deep-seated beliefs, you will have to consciously and regularly conduct work on finding evidence at first - to overcome the habit.

So my new belief is "I can sing well". What evidence do I have?

* in the eighth grade, I taught myself to play the guitar and sang along with it, so I have a hearing. I even sang in companies and they praised me and asked me to sing more.
* At my mother’s anniversary, her good friend, who sings romances, heard me purring under my breath “You burn, burn down, my torch” and ordered me to sing loudly with him in a duet.
* The vocal teacher I went to about five years ago to train my voice and breath for public speaking said that I have a pretty decent soprano that just needs to be developed.

For example, I limited myself to only three proofs, but you try to find as many of them as possible - 10, 20, 30 - as much as you can think of. Suitable for both tiny and large. And - be sure to do it in writing. Better remember, and you can always re-read.

Now your task is to regularly review this evidence, keep it in your head. And if suddenly you want to say to yourself "I don't ..." again - remember your list and say "I can!"

Congratulations! You are now on the right path to your new belief. The main thing - do not return to the negative. ;)

How to get rid of negative thoughts? Non-standard approach.

Tags: Positive thinking, Psychotechnics and exercises

Today we continue to work on the formation of positive thinking. Let me remind you that on my site a whole series of materials is devoted to this topic, and for best results, I recommend starting reading from the first article.

Today we will understand what useful functions your negative thoughts perform. This is far from always obvious. As a rule, negative thoughts seem to people like monsters in which it is impossible to see something positive.

Our search for the useful functions of negative thoughts will consist of three stages.

Stage number 1.
Choose a negative thought that you would like to change. In two columns, write down in what way it bothers you, and in what way it helps.
For example, yes.

I am ugly and unattractive.

What's stopping me from thinking

• spoils the mood and causes internal stress
• reduces confidence when communicating with people
• the thought makes me jealous of my husband for other women

How does thought help me?

• tells me that it's time to update my wardrobe (go to the hairdresser, lose a couple of extra pounds, etc.) in order to become more attractive

It is worth saying that at this stage it is often not so easy to see the positive meaning of a negative thought. Many people, when completing this task, cannot write anything at all in the right column. If this is about you, don't worry. The next stage of the exercise will help you to better see everything that is needed.

Stage number 2.
At this stage, it is necessary to formulate a positive thought, which, as you think, could replace the negative one.

Important! A positive thought must be formulated without a “not” particle. For example, if a negative thought sounded like this: “Other people are obliged to fulfill my requests,” then the following wording will be erroneous: “Other people are not obliged to fulfill my requests,” since our brain does not perceive the particle “not” well, and in fact the focus of our attention is remains on the part of the sentence "obliged to comply with my requests." Therefore, it is better to formulate it this way: "Other people have the right to refuse me to fulfill my request."

Let's go back to our example. The thought “I am ugly and unattractive” can be replaced with “I am beautiful and attractive.”

Now, for the formulated thought, we write down in two columns what it can help and what it can hinder. Very interesting and not immediately obvious details can be revealed here. In our example, different women may have the following ideas:

• When I believe in my attractiveness, I attract more male attention. And I am afraid of the attention of men and do not know how to behave in a situation of flirting.
• If men pay attention to me, it will be difficult for me to remain faithful to my husband and save the marriage.
• After a hard breakup, I know that a man can be a source of great pain. Therefore, by attracting male attention, I increase the risk of experiencing pain again.
• If I consider myself beautiful and attractive, I can become proud and arrogant.
• Feeling beautiful and attractive makes me happy. And you can’t experience happiness for a long time, otherwise there will be misfortunes later.

As you understand, all such answers keep a woman from accepting the idea of ​​her own attractiveness. We also see that many answers are not related to objective facts, but to fears and concerns.

A negative thought very often helps a person to avoid what seems attractive and desirable to him, but in fact is fraught with a hidden danger (real or subjective, associated with his own fears).

By understanding these patterns, it becomes easier to find the positive meaning of a negative thought. For example, if a woman is afraid of attention from men and feels uncomfortable in a flirting situation, the idea that she is ugly and unattractive helps her behave like a gray mouse, avoiding situations that give her unpleasant emotions.

For a woman who is afraid that she will not be able to remain faithful to her husband if men begin to pay attention to her, the thought of her own unattractiveness helps to hide her feminine attractiveness and save her marriage.

It turns out that the useful function of negative thoughts often lies not in objective benefits, but in compensation for internal fears and complexes. A negative thought in this case will never go away unless another way of compensation is found or if the complexes with which it is associated are not worked out and eradicated.

In order to find the real reasons that keep you from accepting a positive thought, get fully into the role. Imagine that a negative thought magically left you, and a positive one settled in its place. How do you feel about it? How is your day? To the smallest detail, imagine all the details of your daily life when there is a positive thought in it. Do you like everything that you imagine? Is there anything that worries you? Sometimes what seems desirable and good to us, upon closer examination, is fraught with hidden dangers.

Stage number 3.
Return to the plate that you filled out at the first stage. I think that now you can add a few more items to the right column.

Sometimes it happens that a positive meaning cannot be found in a negative thought. Maybe it's there, but it's hard to find. Or maybe it's not there. Sometimes it happens. In this case, you can simply use other ways to transform such a thought. I will talk about these methods a little later. Well, in the near future, in the next article, we will complete the second part of the exercise we started today. We will formulate positive thoughts in such a way that they are deeply rooted within us and leave no room for negative ones. See you in the next post!

Beliefs are thoughts that have become habitual

In other words, this is the first template answer that will fly out of you if you are asked a question.

Ask yourself any question on "why":

• Why can't I make a million?
• Why can't I quit smoking?
• Why can't I lose weight?
• Why can't I solve this problem?

Listen to yourself carefully.

Whatever you say in response to these questions- these are the very limiting beliefs, unless of course you answer sincerely and truthfully.

If for the first time you cunningly got out: "Well, I can make a million if I try," then the control question in your head: "Why haven't you done it yet?"

Now your brain will hand over all the passwords and give you 1,000,000 reasons-excuses (we read, limiting beliefs).

Such beliefs in a person's head are simply unmeasured. We can be said to be made up of our beliefs. They completely control our lives. They affect our feelings, behavior, look, speech, conversation, perception of the world, emotions, well-being, relationships, opportunities, health, etc.

Simply put, our beliefs completely build our life, determine what it will be.

Our beliefs completely build our life, determine what it will be.

Often a limiting belief is a consequence of fear, and in order not to meet their fears, a person comes up with “real” excuses for himself in the form of these same limiting beliefs.

In fact, progress begins when a person admits to himself that he is weak, wrong, does not know how to move on, that his whole life is heading in the wrong direction that he dreams of, and that he is engaged in voluptuous self-deception.

A very good technique was described by Bodo Schaefer in his book "The Path to Financial Independence"

Its essence in brief: any of our beliefs can be represented as a table with legs. The tabletop is the belief itself, and the legs are the supports that support it, that is, your life experience and the experience of other people, various life situations that confirm the validity of your belief.

Our task with you is to shake the table, undermine the legs and neutralize the limiting belief. To do this, we first need cast doubt on the validity of the belief itself.

Answer the following questions.

1. Why is this opinion erroneous under certain circumstances?
2. Was the person who inspired this opinion in me well-founded in the field in question?
3. If I don't give up this opinion, what will it cost me - financially and emotionally - in the long run?
4. What will this cost my family and the people I love?
5. Will my life improve if I change my mind? How will I feel about this?

clarification

1. That is, no matter what area your limiting belief lies in - find facts that contradict it. Your task is to understand that this is only your belief, which was born, perhaps not even from personal experience, but from the words of other people.
2. And if so, check the veracity of this statement - Is the source trustworthy?. If a beggar tells you about the unattainability of wealth, this is unreliable information, just as if a fat man told you about the impossibility of losing weight, and the fact that there is no stable relationship and cannot be a dissolute womanizer. If the statement is unreliable, change the environment. Your environment has 50% influence on your success. Hang out with those who have been successful in your area of ​​limitations, not with those who are constantly whining that it's impossible.
3. Here it is very important to feel emotionally (literally survive) your current pain from this limitation and, critically, survive the pain of a future in which nothing has changed and you remain with your conviction.
4. When worrying, think not only about yourself, but also about your loved ones - to How will it affect them if you don't change your beliefs? in this region
5. After you feel completely sick and you understand that you can’t continue to live like this and you urgently need to do something, it’s time to try on the future and figure out: How will your life change if you are not bound by these beliefs?. Draw your future as brightly and attractively as possible. Feel your pleasure in the details

Well, if this path seems long and painful to you (although it is correct), you can do everything quickly and easily. There is a very simple a technique for clearing negative emotions and expectations at the level of roots in the subconscious. I've used it myself and it really works.