Janusz Korczak how to love a child read in full. Janusz Korczak: how to love a child - what masterpieces of world pedagogical literature can be found in the library? “Are you handsome? I don't care"
The life of Janusz Korczak, this amazing man, a talented doctor, educator, defender of orphans, who voluntarily accepted martyrdom in the gas chamber of a fascist concentration camp, has long become a legend.
His book is rightly called the Bible for raising children. Korczak’s thoughts about children, their rights and needs, the need for a sensitive attitude towards them, respect for their dignity, and a principled attitude towards issues of conscience and morality became the foundation of humanistic pedagogy. They continue to be experienced and remain acutely relevant today.
Korczak calls to remember that a child differs from us adults only in his lack of life experience - and just like us, he has the right to respect, his own opinion, to be listened to and understood. How often, forgetting about this, we exhaust the child with lectures and instructions, carefully hiding not only from him, but also from ourselves our own imperfections. Speaking about caring for a child, Korczak emphasizes the impossibility of putting all children under the same brush and calls for taking into account the unique properties of each.
Behind the thoughts and conclusions of Janusz Korczak are the stories of hundreds of children who passed through his hands and the author experienced with them. The entire book is filled with the wisdom and warmth of the big heart of this wonderful man. Undoubtedly, this book should become a reference book for any parent and anyone preparing for this mission.
In this edition the text is published with minor abbreviations.
For ease of understanding, the editor has highlighted thematic sections, and also highlighted the author’s especially important thoughts in the margins.
Professor Yu. B. Gippenreiter
Book one
The child's right to respect 1
The book was first published in Warsaw in 1929. It reflects the main pedagogical views of the author.
Neglect - distrust
be small
From an early age we grow up in the consciousness that the big is more important than the small.
– “I’m big,” the child rejoices when he is placed on the table.
“I’m taller than you,” he notes with a sense of pride, measuring himself against his peer.
It’s unpleasant to stand on tiptoes and not be able to reach, it’s difficult to keep up with an adult in small steps, a glass slips out of your tiny hand. The child awkwardly and with difficulty climbs onto a chair, into a stroller, or onto stairs; cannot reach the doorknob, look out the window, remove or hang anything because it is too high. In the crowd they will shield him, not notice him and push him. It's inconvenient and unpleasant to be small.
There is a lot of respect and admiration for something that takes up a lot of space. The little one is everyday and uninteresting. Little people have little needs, joys and sorrows.
They make an impression - a big city, high mountains, big trees.
We are speaking:
– Great feat, great man.
But the child is small, light, you can’t feel him in your hands. We must lean towards him, bend down.
And what's worse, the child is weak.
We can pick him up, throw him up, sit him down against his will, we can forcibly stop him in his tracks, nullify his efforts.
Whenever he doesn't listen, I have strength in reserve. I say: “Don’t go away, don’t touch me, move over, give it back.” And he knows that he is obliged to give in; But how many times does he try to disobey before he understands, gives in, submits!
Who and when, under what exceptional conditions, will dare to push, shake, or hit an adult? And how ordinary and innocent our spankings, dragging the child by the hand, rough “affectionate” hugs seem to us!
The feeling of weakness evokes respect for strength; everyone, not only an adult, but also an older, stronger child, can express displeasure in a rude form, back up a demand with force, force him to obey: he can offend with impunity.
We teach by our own example to disdain what is weaker. Bad science, grim omen.
The Grace of Material Dependency
The child trundles helplessly with a textbook, a ball and a doll, vaguely feeling that without his participation something important and big is happening somewhere above him, which decides whether he has a share or not, punishes and rewards and crushes.
The flower is a harbinger of the future fruit, the chicken will become a laying hen, the heifer will give milk. Until then - effort, spending and care - will you save it, won't it let you down?
Everything growing causes anxiety, because you have to wait a long time; Perhaps he will be the support of old age, and will repay him a hundredfold. But life knows droughts, frosts and hail, which kill and destroy the harvest.
The market value of unripe fruit is low. Only before the law and God the blossom of an apple tree is worth as much as the fruit, and green shoots as much as ripe fields.
We nurture, protect from harm, feed and teach. The child receives everything without worries; What would he be without us, to whom he owes everything?
Exclusively, uniquely and all – we.
We give orders and demand obedience.
Morally and legally responsible, knowledgeable and foreseeing, we are the only judges of the child’s actions, mental movements, thoughts and intentions.
The beggar disposes of the alms as he pleases, but the child has nothing of his own; he must account for every item received for personal use as a gift.
It cannot be torn, broken, dirty, it cannot be given as a gift, it cannot be rejected with disdain. The child must accept and be happy. Everything at the appointed time and in the appointed place, prudently and according to purpose.
Maybe that’s why he so values worthless trifles that cause us surprise and pity: various rubbish is the only real property and wealth - a lace, a box, a bead.
In exchange for these benefits, the child must give in, deserve good behavior - beg or lure, but just don’t demand! Nothing is owed to him, we give voluntarily. (A sad analogy arises: a rich man’s girlfriend.)
Because of the poverty of the child and the mercy of material dependence, the attitude of adults towards children is immoral.
We neglect the child, because he does not know, does not guess, does not have a presentiment. Doesn’t know the difficulties and complexity of adult life, doesn’t know where our ups and downs and fatigue come from, what deprives us of peace and spoils our mood; does not know mature defeats and bankruptcies. It is easy to distract the attention of a naive child, to deceive, to hide from him.
He thinks life is simple and easy. There is a father, there is a mother; father earns, mother buys. The child knows neither betrayal of duty nor the methods of adults fighting for what is theirs and not theirs.
Free from material worries, from temptations and from strong shocks, he cannot even judge them. We figure it out instantly, pierce it through with a careless glance, and reveal clumsy tricks without preliminary investigation.
Or maybe we are being deceived, seeing in a child only what we want to see?
Perhaps he is hiding from us, perhaps he is suffering in secret?
We neglect the child, because he has many hours of life ahead of him.
We feel the heaviness of our steps, the clumsiness of selfish movements, the stinginess of perceptions and experiences.
And the child runs and jumps, looks at everything, is surprised and asks questions; frivolously sheds tears and rejoices generously.
A fine autumn day, when the sun is rare, and spring is already green, is valuable. It’s enough and somehow, he doesn’t need enough to be happy, there’s no point in trying. We quickly and carelessly get rid of the child. We despise the diversity of his life and the joy that is easy to give him.
It is we who are running away important minutes and years; He’s running out of time, he’ll have time, he’ll wait.
The child is not a soldier, does not defend his homeland, although he suffers along with it.
Weak, small, poor, dependent - he has yet to become a citizen.
Whether it’s condescending, harsh, or rude, it’s all disdain.
Brat, still a child - a future person, not today. In reality, it is yet to come.
Strict supervision
Keep an eye on it, don’t take your eyes off for a minute. Keep an eye on him, don't leave him alone. Keep an eye on him, don't leave a single step.
It will fall, hit, cut, get dirty, spill, tear, break, ruin, shove somewhere, lose, set on fire, let a thief into the house. He will hurt himself, us, he will hurt himself, us, his playmate.
Supervise - no independent undertakings - full right of control and criticism.
He doesn’t know how much and what to eat, how much and when to drink, he doesn’t know the limits of his strength. Therefore, stand guard over diet, sleep, and rest.
How long? From what time? Always.
With age, distrust of a child takes on a different character, but does not decrease, but even increases.
The child does not distinguish between what is important and what is not important. Order and systematic work are alien to him. Absent-minded, he will forget, neglect, miss. He doesn’t know that he will answer for everything with his future.
We must instruct, guide, train, suppress, restrain, correct, warn, prevent, inoculate, overcome. Overcome whims, whims, stubbornness. Instill caution, prudence, fear and anxiety, the ability to foresee and even have a presentiment.
We, the experienced ones, know how many dangers, ambushes, traps, fatal accidents and disasters there are around. We know that even the greatest caution does not give a complete guarantee - and we are even more suspicious: in order to have a clear conscience, and if trouble happens, at least there is nothing to reproach ourselves with.
The excitement of pranks is sweet to him, it’s amazing how he clings to the bad. Willingly listens to bad whispers and follows the worst examples.
It spoils easily and is difficult to fix.
We wish him well, we want to make it easier; We give away all our experience without reserve: just extend your hand - it’s ready! We know what is harmful to children, we remember what harmed us ourselves, even if he avoids it, does not find out, does not experience it. “Remember, know, understand.” “You’ll see for yourself, you’ll see for yourself.” Not listening! As if on purpose, as if out of spite.
You have to make sure you obey, you have to make sure you follow through. He himself clearly strives for everything bad, chooses the worst, dangerous path.
How can one tolerate senseless pranks, ridiculous antics, inexplicable outbursts? The primary creature looks suspicious. It seems submissive and innocent, but in essence it is cunning and insidious.
Knows how to elude control, lull one's vigilance, and deceive. He always has an excuse ready, a subterfuge, a concealment, or even a complete lie. Unreliable, raises all sorts of doubts.
Contempt and mistrust, suspicion and the desire to blame.
A sad analogy: a rowdy, a drunk, rebellious, crazy person. How - together, under one roof?
Dislike
Child: damage and disappointment
It's nothing. We love children. In spite of everything, they are our delight, cheerfulness, hope, joy, relaxation, the light of life. We do not frighten, we do not burden, we do not torment; children are free and happy... But why are they like a burden, a hindrance, an inconvenient addition?
Where does the hostility towards your beloved child come from?
Before he could welcome this inhospitable world, confusion and restrictions had already crept into the family's life. The short months of long-awaited legitimate joy have vanished forever.
A long period of unwieldy illness ends with illness and pain, restless nights and additional expenses. Peace has been lost, order has disappeared, the balance of the budget has been disrupted. Along with the sour smell of diapers and the shrill cry of a newborn, the chain of marital bondage began to rattle.
It’s hard when you can’t agree and you have to think and guess.
But we wait, perhaps even patiently. And when he finally starts walking and talking, he gets in the way, grabs everything, climbs into all the cracks, thoroughly interferes and creates disorder - a little slob and despot.
Causes damage, opposes itself to our rational will. He demands and understands only what his darling wants.
Little things should not be neglected: resentment towards children includes getting up early, crumpled newspapers, stains on dresses and wallpaper, wet carpet, broken glasses and souvenir vase, spilled milk and perfume and doctor's fees.
He doesn’t sleep when we want, he doesn’t eat the way we want; we thought he would laugh, but he got scared and cried. How fragile! Any oversight threatens illness, promising new difficulties.
If one of the parents forgives, the other - in defiance of this - does not forgive and finds fault; besides the mother, the father, nanny, servant and neighbor have their own opinion about the child; and in defiance of the mother or secretly punish the child.
A little intriguer can be the cause of friction and discord between adults; Someone is always dissatisfied and offended. For the indulgence of one, the child is responsible to the other.
Often, simple negligence is hidden behind imaginary kindness; the child is made responsible for the faults of others. (Girls and boys do not like to be called children. A common name with the little ones forces them to answer for the long past, share the bad reputation of the kids, listen to numerous reproaches that no longer apply to them, the elders.)
How rarely does a child turn out the way we want him to be, how often his growth is accompanied by a feeling of disappointment!
- It seems like I should already...
In return for what we give him voluntarily, he is obliged to try and reward, he is obliged to understand, agree and be able to refuse; and above all, feel gratitude. Both responsibilities and requirements grow over the years, but are most often fulfilled less and differently than we would like.
Parents will graciously forgive the child: their indulgence stems from a clear consciousness of guilt that they gave him life, caused harm, crippled him. Sometimes a mother looks for a weapon against other people’s accusations and her own doubts in the child’s imaginary illness.
The hard lot of a teacher
A teacher in a private home rarely finds favorable conditions for working with children.
Shackled by distrustful control, he is forced to maneuver between other people's instructions and his own beliefs, external demands and his own peace and comfort. Responsible for the child entrusted to him, he suffers the consequences of questionable decisions of legal guardians and employers. Forced to conceal and circumvent difficulties, a teacher can easily become demoralized, get used to duplicity—become embittered and lazy.
Over the years, the distance between what the adult wants and what the child strives for increases: the knowledge of unclean methods of enslavement grows.
There are complaints about thankless work: if God wants to punish someone, he makes him a teacher.
Children, lively, noisy, interested in life and its mysteries, tire us; their questions and surprise, discoveries and attempts - often with unsuccessful results - are tormented.
* * *
Years of work have more and more clearly confirmed that children deserve respect, trust and friendship, that we are pleased to be with them in this clear atmosphere of affectionate sensations, cheerful laughter, first vigorous efforts and surprises, pure, bright and sweet joys, that this work is alive, fruitful and beautiful.
Only one thing raised doubts and concerns.
Why does the most reliable sometimes fail? Why—though rarely, but there are—sudden explosions of mass indiscipline throughout the group? Maybe adults are no better, only more solid, reliable, and you can calmly rely on them?
I searched hard and gradually found the answer.
1.If a teacher is looking for character traits and virtues in children that seem especially valuable to him, if he wants to put everyone on the same page, to attract everyone in the same direction, he will be misled: some will conform to his demands, others will sincerely succumb to suggestion - for the time being. And when the real appearance of the child is revealed, not only the teacher, but also the child will painfully feel his defeat. The greater the effort to disguise or influence, the more violent the reaction; a child revealed in his most authentic tendencies has nothing to lose. What an important moral follows from this!
2.One assessment measure for the teacher, another for the children: both he and they see spiritual wealth; he is waiting for this spiritual wealth to develop, and they are waiting to see what use this wealth will have for them now: will the child share what he owns, or will he consider himself entitled not to give - a proud, envious egoist, miser! He won’t tell stories, won’t play, won’t draw, won’t help or serve - “as if he’s doing a favor,” “you have to beg.” Finding himself in isolation, the child, with a broad gesture, wants to buy favor from his childish society, which joyfully welcomes the change. He did not suddenly deteriorate, but, on the contrary, he understood and corrected himself.
3. Everyone let you down, they offended you all. I found an explanation in a book about animal training - and I do not hide the source. Leo is not dangerous when he is angry, but when he gets angry, he wants to play pranks; and the crowd is strong like a lion...
The solution must be sought not so much in psychology, but - and this is more often - in medicine, sociology, ethnology, history, poetry, criminology, in the prayer book and in the training textbook. Ars longa. 2
Ars longa – the first part of the Latin proverb Ars longa, vita brevis – art is eternal, life is short.
4. The time has come for the sunniest (oh, at least not the last!) explanation. A child can be intoxicated by oxygen in the air, like an adult with vodka. Excitement, inhibition of control centers, excitement, eclipse; as a reaction - embarrassment, an unpleasant aftertaste - heartburn, consciousness of guilt. My observation is clinically accurate. And the most respectable citizens may have a weak head.
Do not blame: this clear intoxication of children evokes a feeling of touch and respect, does not alienate and divide, but brings together and makes allies.
Adult hypocrisy
We pretend to be perfect.
We hide our shortcomings and actions that deserve punishment. Children are not allowed to criticize and notice our funny features, bad habits, and funny sides. We pretend to be perfect. Under the threat of the highest offense, we protect the secrets of the ruling class, the caste of the elite - those involved in the highest sacraments. It is shameless to expose, and only a child can be put in a pillory.
We play with marked cards with children; We beat the weaknesses of childhood with the aces of the strengths of adults.
Cheaters, we rig the cards in such a way that we can contrast the worst in our children with what is good and valuable in us.
Where are our lazybones and frivolous gourmets, fools, lazy people, quitters, adventurers, unscrupulous people, cheats, drunkards and thieves? Where are our violence and overt and secret crimes? How many squabbles, tricks, envy, slander, blackmail, words that cripple, deeds that disgrace! How many quiet family tragedies from which children suffer, the first martyrs - victims! And dare we accuse and consider them guilty?!
But adult society is carefully sifted and strained. How much human scum and waste has been carried away by drainage ditches, taken up by graves, prisons and insane asylums!
We command you to respect your elders and experienced people without reasoning; and the guys also have bosses who are closer to them - teenagers, with their obsessive coaxing and pressure.
Criminal and unbalanced guys wander around without supervision and push, push, offend, and infect. And all children bear joint responsibility for them (after all, we, adults, sometimes get a little from them). These few outrage public opinion, standing out as bright spots on the surface of children's lives; It is they who dictate to the routine its methods: to keep children in obedience, although this is oppressive, to keep a tight rein, although it hurts, to treat harshly, which means rudely. 3
J. Korczak is referring to the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, proclaimed on September 26, 1924 by the International Committee for the Protection of Children in Geneva.
We don't allow children to organize; neglecting, not trusting, disliking, not caring about them; We cannot cope without the participation of experts; and the experts are the children themselves.
Are we really so uncritical that the caresses with which we pursue children express our affection? Don’t we understand that when we caress a child, we accept his affection, helplessly hide in his arms, seek protection and refuge in hours of homeless pain, ownerless abandonment - we lay the burden of suffering and sorrow on him?
By caressing a child, is it we who accept his affection, helplessly hide in his arms, seek protection and refuge in hours of homeless pain, ownerless abandonment - put the burden of suffering and sorrow on him?
Any other kindness - not running to the child and not pleas for hope - is a criminal search and awakening of sensual sensations in him.
“I hug because I’m sad. Give me a kiss then."
Selfishness, not affection.
Right to respect
Is life a joke? No, childhood is a long, important years in a person’s life.
School creates a rhythm of hours, days and years. School staff must meet the needs of today's young citizens. A child is a rational being; he knows well the needs, difficulties and obstacles of his life. Not despotic orders, not imposed discipline, not distrustful control, but tactful agreement, faith in experience, cooperation and life together! The child is not stupid; There are no more fools among them than among adults. Clad in the purple mantle of years, how often do we impose meaningless, uncritical, impossible regulations! Sometimes a reasonable child stops in amazement before the aggression of caustic, gray-haired stupidity.
The child is not stupid; There are no more fools among them than among adults.
A child has a future, but he also has a past: memorable events, memories and many hours of the most truly lonely thoughts. Just like us - no differently - he remembers and forgets, appreciates and underestimates, reasons logically and is mistaken if he does not know. He carefully believes and doubts.
The child is a foreigner, he does not understand the language, does not know the directions of the streets, does not know the laws and customs.
The child is a foreigner, he does not understand the language, does not know the directions of the streets, does not know the laws and customs. Sometimes he prefers to look around himself; difficult - will ask for guidance and advice. You need a guide who will politely answer questions.
Janusz Korczak
How to love a child
Korczak Janusz
How to love a child
Janusz Korczak
How to love a child
“The idea of serving children became my son...”
Translation from Polish by E. Zenina and E. Tareeva
What we are missing so much...
But we lack love for children. There is a lack of parental and pedagogical dedication. There is not enough filial, daughterly love.
There is a simple saying: what comes around, comes around. What you put in is what you get. The formulas seem to be correct. Only if you follow them alone will you achieve one reproduction. For the sower it is simply a disaster when he removes exactly the same amount of grain as he sowed. The plowman must receive an increase, only then will he survive and feed his family. Society should exist in the same way. Progress consists of the increments that come from generations “sown” by their parents and mentors. Of course, there is this increase, but in what spaces? In the space of human knowledge, of course. In the field of technology. What about spirituality? Alas, in this subtle sphere of reproduction we rejoice even in a simple response to a call. And too often we notice simple losses: not more, no, but kindness and mercy become less. Rougher and harsher are the relations between the kindest people. The fulfillment of duty in interpersonal relations is inferior to official duties - there a person is both more obligatory and more professional. And love for children began to resemble love for one’s own property. However, property is sometimes more valuable than people... What could be sadder and more bitter! It has long been noted that adversity brings out both the best and the worst sides of a person. Janusz Korczak, not only in the last months of his life, but throughout his entire previous life, stood next to trouble, or rather, lived in its midst. Orphanhood, this biblically ancient form of human loneliness, requires compassion and complicity, the selfless and patient love of true Stoics and humanists.
Janusz Korczak is the first of them, but this primacy is not measured by time, albeit tragic, but by the measure of his choice, the measure of honesty.
This measure is death.
It is not only the Poles who honor the choice of their immortal teacher. His name is included in the calendar of both world pedagogy and elementary human decency. And it is from his lips, from his pen, that the didactic, even edifying instruction sounds extremely legitimate: how to love children.
This small book is a unique manifesto of humanism. An ageless testament, passed on to our and future times from times that seem distant from us and at the same time completely similar, because we are talking about love for children, and this is a constant value. Spiritual comfort makes a person thick-skinned, makes strange changes in his consciousness, when imaginary values obscure the light, and genuine values go by the wayside. Sooner or later, everyone gets what they deserve, but often it is too late, when nothing can be corrected, and this is the origin of many human dramas. Those who imagine that kindness and love are unimportant, secondary qualities that do not help, but, on the contrary, even harm, say, when achieving a career, are punished at the end of this career, and even more often - at the end of their own lives - with dislike and unkindness those around you.
And let everyone who comes to his senses and hurries forward - from dislike to love, from unkindness to kindness, fall as if to the pure result - to this last commandment of Janusz Korczak.
Albert Likhanov, laureate of the International Janusz Korczak Prize
After all, to be born is not the same as to be resurrected: the grave will give us up, but will not look at us like a mother.
Many people know about the feat of the Polish teacher Janusz Korczak.
During the Second World War, orphans from the orphanage led by Korczak ended up in the Warsaw ghetto, and then in Treblinka, the death camp. By this time, Korczak was famous as a teacher, writer and children's doctor. Several times his friends offered to save him. Even the Nazis were ready to release him. But he did not leave the children. He continued to teach, educate, heal - when it could only be about survival. He stayed with the children until the end...
The life of this amazing man is outwardly similar to the life of many of his contemporaries. Korczak was born into the family of a Jewish doctor who did not particularly hold on to his roots. Therefore, in childhood, the parents called the boy Henrik in the Polish manner (derived from the Hebrew name Hirsch); and, as an adult, he took a Polish pseudonym.
Henryk continued the family tradition and entered the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Warsaw, but realized quite early that his calling was pedagogy. While working as a tutor, he knew how to find a special approach to each student - with the help of fairy tales and lively communication, he turned dry and boring subjects into something exciting. He did not give up his medical practice, but whenever possible he devoted himself to teaching. At his own expense, he traveled around Europe and adopted the experience of outstanding teachers.
Korczak served in the Russo-Japanese War and the First World War, and in between, he built the Orphanage, an orphanage for Jewish children without parental care.
This happened in 1910 - Korczak finally left medicine and devoted himself entirely to pedagogy. He directed the Orphanage until the end of his life.
It is interesting that in organizing the lives of children and the general direction of education, Korczak largely adhered to the ideas of Anton Semenovich Makarenko. There was a children's self-government in the orphanage - a parliament, the decisions of which became binding for adults. The children had their own flag, their own court and their own newspaper. In this regard, I remember the children's parliament from the duology about King Matt - a wonderful fairy tale-parable, loved by many children.
Korczak’s literary talent was also discovered early, but for quite a long time he was skeptical about his experiments (these were articles on education and books for children). Returning from the Russo-Japanese War, Korczak was surprised to find that his books were very popular.
“How to Love a Child” is the most famous “pedagogical” book by Janusz Korczak. He wrote it during the war, “in a field hospital, with the roar of guns.” He poured out his most intimate, hard-won thoughts onto paper. Painful questions demanded an answer: how could such a murder happen in the enlightened 20th century? Why don't people get better? How could adults start a war in which so many children became orphans? What can I do to prevent this from happening again?
Korczak doesn’t write directly about the war, but isn’t he literally screaming about the spiritual degradation of people from the first pages of the book?
You can often hear that motherhood ennobles a woman, that only by becoming a mother does she mature spiritually. Indeed, motherhood illuminates with a bright flame the tasks of a woman’s spiritual existence, but one may not notice them, cowardly put them off until later, and be offended that money cannot buy a ready-made solution.
Telling someone to produce the thoughts you need is the same as instructing a third-party woman to give birth to your child. There is a category of thoughts that you have to give birth to yourself, in pain, and they are the most valuable. They decide that you, mother, will give the child a breast or an udder, raise him as a man or as a female, will lead him or pull him with force on the reins, will play with him, tiny, and with tenderness towards him will make up for the caresses of an indifferent or unlovable husband , and when he grows up, you’ll leave him to the mercy of fate or start breaking...
Motherhood ennobles a woman when she sacrifices herself, abandons herself, gives herself to him with all her soul, and demoralizes when, hiding behind the imaginary good of the child, she gives him up to be devoured by her ambitions, habits, passions...
Does the earth thank the sun for shining? Is the tree the seed from which it grew? But does the nightingale dedicate her trills to her mother because she once warmed him with herself?
Do you give to your child what you yourself received from your parents, or do you lend it for a while, carefully taking into account and calculating the interest?
Is love a service that can be paid for?
Lack of love is the cause of wars and other ills of the world.
Obviously, Korczak has met many mothers who not only do not love their children, but do not even know why they need children. Somehow they carry out maternal duties (and if no one watches them, then they don’t do them), look for ready-made recipes (based on the principle of magic - do this like this and the baby will become obedient), delegate the upbringing of children to kindergarten and school (or even do not shift, but follow the principle “life will teach”).
...instead of courageously stating: raising a child is not pleasant fun, but work, into which you need to invest the efforts of sleepless nights, the capital of difficult experiences and a lot of thoughts...
There are many such mothers today. And if you are not that kind of mother, this book is for you.
Korczak uses a personal address – “you” – and it turns the narrative into a conversation. A conversation with that particular mother who is currently reading a book.
The style of this narrative is polemical. The author constantly seems to ask the reader: “How do you feel about your children?”, “What do you do?” Sometimes the reader even has to justify himself:
[Adults] are so happy, everyone can buy what they want, they can do anything, but they are always angry about something, shouting over trifles. Adults don’t know everything, they often answer to get rid of it... Adults are not kind. When they are in a good mood, then everything is possible, but when they are angry, then everything interferes with them... Adults lie. It’s a lie that sweets make worms, and if you don’t fall asleep, the wolf will drag you away... They don’t keep their word: they promise, and then they forget, or they get out of it, or they don’t allow it as punishment, and they wouldn’t allow it anyway... They tell you to talk the truth, but if you tell the truth, they will be offended...
I just want to exclaim: “No, I’m not like that, I don’t behave like that!”
At the same time, Korczak does not give ready-made recipes, but makes you think about what, at first glance, is obvious, but in fact, is ambiguous.
Here are some questions that Janusz Korczak ponders with the reader:
- Child - who is it? It turns out that the child is a person. No, not only in the biological sense, but in every possible sense. Moreover, this person is often much better than the adult to whom fate gave him “to be raised.” In fact, in the field of intelligence, children are equal to adults, in the field of feelings they are superior to them. Children lack only one instinct (or rather, it is not so distinct), but how do you know whether the use of this instinct does honor to adults? There is only one difference between children and adults – life experience. It turns out that “the whole difference between a child and an adult is that he does not earn his own bread, that, being in our support, he is forced to obey our demands.”
- The child demands respect. After all, we don’t deny respect to adults and equals? Why is everyone free to behave as they please with children? “There are no children, there are people,” writes Korczak and insists on treating children as equals, requiring reasonable guidance only because of their lack of experience.
- A child is a person. Janusz Korczak criticizes the popular idea of the “unformed personality” of a child who “transforms” into a full-fledged person in the process of upbringing and training. Even a baby is already a personality, and only the properties of this personality require development, formation and, possibly, correction.
- Whose is it? Korczak also debunks the myth that children belong to their parents (mother). He needs his mother, her love and care, he himself longs to love, he needs competent guidance, but a possessive attitude towards children is a mistake.
- What is he like? What should it be like? A mother has many questions about her baby; she expects a lot from him. All parents want him to be healthy, beautiful, smart and obedient. What pitfalls lurk in each of these natural desires? What is really worth caring about? Korczak gives professional answers to these questions (for example, “Isn’t he smart, rather, what kind of smart?”)
- About maternal sensitivity and child health. Much in the health and development of a child depends on the sensitivity of the mother. Sensitivity is constant attention to the child, observing him, thinking about him and the mother’s special intuition arising from this. This intuition will force the mother to refuse the recommendations of a celebrity if they are not beneficial, to allow the baby to eat as many times a day as he requires, to establish prohibitions that she may not have heard from anyone before. From this intuition is born an approach to the child as a unique personality, acceptance of him as he is, and not as his parents and others want him to be.
- Child's rights. Among the many rights of children, Korczak considers the most important the right to death, the right to today, and the child’s right to be what he is. In fact, how many futile sacrifices are sometimes made for a child’s future, how many walks he is deprived of due to excessive concern about his health, what wasted efforts are sometimes made by the desire to make him more intelligent/obedient/beautiful. But today cannot be returned. He lives now; It is important that every day is lived fully and joyfully.
This is only a small part of the problems that Korczak touches on in his book. For an inquisitive and sensitive parent, she will become a real storehouse of knowledge about how to love a child in practice, among the difficulties of real life (and not in the ideal constructions of educators).
A real example of true love was the life of Janusz Korczak.
Not enough is done for the child unless everything possible is done.
He truly did his best, giving his life to his children, literally and figuratively.
Download the book “How to Love a Child”
Korczak Janusz
How to love a child
Janusz Korczak
How to love a child
“The idea of serving children became my son...”
Translation from Polish by E. Zenina and E. Tareeva
What we are missing so much...
But we lack love for children. There is a lack of parental and pedagogical dedication. There is not enough filial, daughterly love.
There is a simple saying: what comes around, comes around. What you put in is what you get. The formulas seem to be correct. Only if you follow them alone will you achieve one reproduction. For the sower it is simply a disaster when he removes exactly the same amount of grain as he sowed. The plowman must receive an increase, only then will he survive and feed his family. Society should exist in the same way. Progress consists of increments that are given by generations “sown” by their parents and mentors. Of course, there is this increase, but in what spaces? In the space of human knowledge, of course. In the field of technology. What about spirituality? Alas, in this subtle sphere of reproduction we rejoice even in a simple response to a call. And too often we notice simple losses: not more, no, but kindness and mercy become less. Rougher and harsher are the relations between the kindest people. The fulfillment of duty in interpersonal relations is inferior to official duties - there a person is both more obligatory and more professional. And love for children began to resemble love for one’s own property. However, property is sometimes more valuable than people... What could be sadder and more bitter! It has long been noted that adversity brings out both the best and the worst sides of a person. Janusz Korczak, not only in the last months of his life, but throughout his entire previous life, stood next to trouble, or rather, lived in its midst. Orphanhood, this biblically ancient form of human loneliness, requires compassion and complicity, the selfless and patient love of true Stoics and humanists.
Janusz Korczak is the first of them, but this primacy is not measured by time, albeit tragic, but by the measure of his choice, the measure of honesty.
This measure is death.
It is not only the Poles who honor the choice of their immortal teacher. His name is included in the calendar of both world pedagogy and elementary human decency. And it is in his mouth, under his pen, that the didactic, even edifying, instruction sounds eminently legitimate:
how to love children.
This small book is a unique manifesto of humanism. An ageless testament, passed on to our and future times from times that seem distant from us and at the same time completely similar, because we are talking about love for children, and this is a constant value. Spiritual comfort makes a person thick-skinned, makes strange changes in his consciousness, when imaginary values obscure the light, and genuine values go by the wayside. Sooner or later, everyone gets what they deserve, but often it’s too late, when nothing can be corrected, and this is the origin of many human dramas. Those who imagine that kindness and love are unimportant, secondary qualities that do not help, but, on the contrary, even harm, for example, when achieving a career, are punished at the end of this career, and even more often - at the end of their own lives - with dislike and unkindness those around you.
And let everyone who comes to his senses and hurries forward - from dislike to love, from unkindness to kindness - fall as if to the pure result - to this last commandment of Janusz Korczak.
Albert Likhanov,
laureate of the International Prize
named after Janusz Korczak
After all, being born is not like being resurrected: the grave will give us up, but will not look at us like a mother.
"ANGEL LEE"
Child in the family
How, when, how much, why?
I foresee many questions awaiting answers, many doubts requiring resolution. And I answer:
Don't know.
Whenever, after putting the book down, you begin to weave the thread of your own thoughts, the book has reached its goal. If, in search of precise instructions and recipes, feverishly leafing through the pages, you are annoyed at their paucity, know that even if there are tips and prescriptions in this book, they appeared not by the author’s will, but in spite of it.
I do not know and cannot know how parents unknown to me in conditions unknown to me can raise a child unknown to me, I emphasize - they can, but they don’t want to, they can, but they shouldn’t.
"Don't know". For science, this is a nebula from which new thoughts arise and are born, closer and closer to the truth.
“I don’t know” is a frightening emptiness for a mind not accustomed to analytical thinking.
I want them to understand and love the wonderful, creative “I don’t know,” full of life and stunning surprises, of modern science about the child.
I want you to understand: no book, no doctor can replace your own living thought, your own attentive gaze.
You can often hear that motherhood ennobles a woman, that. Only by becoming a mother does she mature spiritually. Indeed, motherhood illuminates with a bright flame the tasks of a woman’s spiritual existence, but one may not notice them, cowardly put them off until later, and be offended that money cannot buy a ready-made solution.
Telling someone to produce the thoughts you need is the same as telling a third-party woman to give birth to your child. There is a category of thoughts that you have to give birth to yourself, in pain, and they are the most valuable. They decide that you, mother, will give the child a breast or an udder, raise him as a man or as a female, will guide him or pull him with force on the reins, will play with him, tiny, and with tenderness towards him will make up for the caresses of an indifferent or unkind husband , and when he grows up, you’ll leave him to the mercy of fate or start breaking him.
2. You say: "My child."
When, if not during pregnancy, do you have the greatest right to this pronoun? The beating of a tiny heart, like a peach pit, is the echo of your pulse. Your breath gives him oxygen. Common blood flows in both of you, and not a single red drop of it knows whether it will be yours or his, or, having spilled out, will die like a constant
tribute to the mystery of conception and birth. The loaf of bread that you chew, the building material of the legs on which he will run, the skin that will cover him, the eyes with which he will see, the brain in which a thought will be born, the hands that he will stretch out to you, the smile with which will exclaim:
You both still have to go through a decisive moment: you will suffer pain together. The sound of the bell will announce:
And immediately he, your child, will declare: I am ready to live my life, and you will respond: now you can live on your own, live it.
With strong convulsions you will drive him out of you into the world, not thinking about what hurts him, and he will make his way forward, with strength and courage, not caring about what hurts you.
How to love a child Janusz Korczak
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Title: How to love a child
Author: Janusz Korczak
Year: 1920
Genre: Raising children, Child psychology, Foreign educational literature, Foreign applied and popular science literature, Pedagogy
About the book “How to Love a Child” by Janusz Korczak
Any woman knows how difficult it can sometimes be with a child. And everything seems to be under control, and you give love, look after, but in the end conflict situations arise, and you simply give up. Unfortunately (or fortunately), children today are not the same as they used to be. The new generation grasps information faster, learns faster, but at the same time there are much more problems.
In order not to miss a moment while raising a child, in order to understand what exactly he needs, in order to find a common language for parents and children in general, it is important to read Janusz Korczak’s book “How to Love a Child.” In it, the author will answer the main question - how to love a child correctly? The love of parents for their child can be so boundless and all-consuming that its excess leads to very sad consequences. But a lack of love will not lead to anything good.
Janusz Korczak is trying to convey one simple truth to all parents: a child is, first of all, a person. He is also a personality. More recently, about a hundred years ago, psychologists from all over the world argued that a child is an empty vessel that is completely dependent on adults. He must be educated, taught to communicate, live in society, and conveyed to him certain knowledge, skills and abilities. And only after all this can he be considered a person. In essence, a child is a powerless creature who must obey adults until a certain age. On the one hand, this is so, but on the other hand, each child is individual, he has feelings and emotions. He was already born as a person, not like everyone else.
Parents make mistakes when raising their children. This cannot be avoided; no one can know everything. But at the same time, there are serious mistakes that break the psyche of children, making them complex, unsure of themselves and their abilities. Janusz Korczak in his book “How to Love a Child” also raises the topic of physical punishment. You can come to an agreement with your child. Moreover, you need to negotiate with him and discuss serious topics. Then he will grow and reason about whether he is doing the right thing or doing something wrong.
The book “How to Love a Child” says that a child must obey his parents, but at the same time he must have enough freedom to develop independently, explore the world, make his own mistakes, and learn something new. A child should not feel like a slave, subject only to the will of his elders. He must be a self-sufficient person, capable of solving his own (even minor and childish) problems on his own, making choices, and understanding situations.
Janusz Korczak's book breaks all previously accepted rules for raising children. When you read this book, you will understand that children are the same as adults. If you do not want your child to have complexes, you want him to achieve great heights in his life, you must approach his upbringing correctly. Unfortunately, our parents lived in a different time and this sometimes affects us, but the world is changing, and what will happen next will be completely different from what it is even now. Consequently, children are also different and need to be raised differently. The book “How to Love a Child” will help you with this, which helps in difficult moments and opens up new horizons and opportunities for parents and children.
On our website about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read online the book “How to Love a Child” by Janusz Korczak in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and real pleasure from reading. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginning writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at literary crafts.
Quotes from the book “How to Love a Child” by Janusz Korczak
Every time you put the book down and begin to weave the thread of your own thoughts, the book has achieved its goal.
We are sick with immortality. Those who have not grown up to see a monument on the square dream of at least a street named after him, at least of a memorial plaque.
I do not know and cannot know how parents unknown to me can, in conditions unknown to me, raise a child unknown to me, I emphasize - “they can”, and not “they want”, and not “they have to”.
In “I don’t know” for science there is primordial chaos, the birth of new thoughts, ever closer to the truth. “I don’t know” is a painful emptiness for a mind not experienced in scientific thinking.
One of the biggest mistakes is to believe that pedagogy is a science about the child, and not about the person. The hot-tempered child, not remembering himself, hit; the adult, not remembering himself, killed. A simple-minded child was robbed of a toy; for an adult - signature on a bill of exchange. A frivolous child bought some candy for the ten dollar given to him for his notebook; An adult lost his entire fortune at cards. There are no children - there are people, but with a different scale of concepts, a different store of experience, different drives, a different play of feelings...
When should a child walk and talk? - When he walks and talks. When should teeth be cut? - Exactly when they cut themselves. And the crown should be overgrown only when it is overgrown. And the child should sleep as much as he needs to get enough sleep.
But we know these norms. In any popular brochure, these small truths are copied from reference books for all children at once and lies - for yours alone.
People are busy, fussing, fussing - petty worries, insignificant aspirations, vulgar goals... Deceived hopes, withering sadness, eternal melancholy... Injustice triumphs.
This deliberate disregard for beauty is a medieval relic. Can a person who is sensitive to the beauty of a flower, a butterfly, a landscape, remain indifferent to the beauty of a person?
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